


super rich kids. [chensung]

by nctisgay



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: A little fucked up, Everyone Is Gay, M/M, Super Rich Kids, a little happy, chenle is a rich hoe, chensung - Freeform, even mark lee that straight fucker, he got lotta money, i wrote this instead of studying and sleeping and caring for my well being, inspired by a frank ocean song, lots of fucked up lmao, lots of other side ships lmao, oh and lots of markhyuck, peace out babies, side ship norenmin, trigger warning, yeah i hope you enjoy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2019-11-02 00:47:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 28,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17877890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nctisgay/pseuds/nctisgay
Summary: " super rich kids with nothing but loose ends , "" super rich kids with nothing but fake friends . "[inspired by the song 'super rich kids' by frank ocean.]





	1. [one.]

**Author's Note:**

  * For [all my depressed pals](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=all+my+depressed+pals).



_“how the fuck do you even pronounce this?“_

the chinese boy stared unblinkingly at the expensive bottle of red wine in his hands. well, he should say expensive to some, but not to him or his family. though, he wasn't one to brag about his fortunes, about his luck of being born into a billion-dollar family. he doesn't flaunt it a lot. he didn't like to. _but, his parents sure did._

last week, it was roma, italy. today, it was the bahamas, _again_. all the way across the big ocean, towards the americas. every breathtaking place, every once in a lifetime experience you could possibly think of, his parents have been and went on at least two or three times. and, they could easily go again in the same luxury about four more times. that was just how things were. traveling was their lives. though, there was always one thing.

_they always left their only son to stay home._

in no _poor_ manner, of course. not only wasn't he a fan of traveling, but he could basically have anything he wanted and everything he needed at any time. he could demand anything, and it would be brought to him. the maids watched over him in his parent's big mansion, one he called his place of residence, though there were about nine other's just like it all over the world. a luxury, a dream, a perfect solution, most might call it. _sure._

_but when it's been that way all your life for 18 years, it gets numbing._

alas, there would be more of that later.

"it's pronounced,  _domaine de la romanée-conti grand cru_. but anyways, were you really going to have a drink without me, _lele_? i'm the one who's older!” 

zhong chenle turned around at the familiar voice, an awaited smile coming to his lips, his eyes forming into crescent moons as he did so.

_"JUNNIE!"_

almost dropping the 10,000 dollar wine, he rushed over to his best friend, throwing his arms around huang renjun and letting out little un-forced dolphin noises.

"i missed you so fucking much! oh my gosh, how was beijing? how was the college? did you get to tour it? was it big? was it cool?” 

the older of the two chuckled at chenle's sprite eagerness. this was one of the only times the younger was genuinely himself, anyways.

"it was so great! chenle, I GOT IN! I GOT INTO PEKING!"

chenle's face instantly lit up in overbearing happiness. though, deep down inside of him, as much as he hated to admit it, a weight completely dropped in his stomach.

"oh my gosh! RENJUN YOU FUCKING SMART ASS I’M SO PROUD OF YOU! OH MY GOSH RENJUN YOU GOT IN! KNEW YOU WOULD! _I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!_ "

the younger screamed this at the top of his lungs, continuously bouncing around on his feet before placing the now-shaken bottle of wine down, and throwing his arms completely around his friend in a huge embrace.

renjun laughed, hugging his friend back, holding him just as tightly. and, for awhile, neither of them let go. both of them knew that meant renjun was for sure moving to china, leaving chenle here in korea. _all alone._

"thank you so much for everything, lele. you've supported me more than anybody ever has. i love you _so_ much. i'll always visit, of course. i'll text you all the time. i'll even fly you over here every month." renjun spoke softly, gently guiding the boy's head back from his shoulder.

chenle blinked a few times, trying to hide the tears that were welled in his eyes as he gave a soft smile.

"oh jun, i'm just so proud of you. i know you would do something amazing one day. and i'd just like to thank you. for not only supporting me, but for literally just existing by my side. because without you i would be _nothing_ -"

chenle's voice broke, tears slipping passed his eyes and down his cheeks, his eyes shooting down to the floor as he sniffled.

"oh chenle, _please_..." renjun mumbled with a slight frown, bringing the younger in for another hug.

"you're the best person i've ever met. i will never, ever leave you. it's fucking impossible for me to do that." renjun whispered to the other.

_"p-promise...?"_

_"promise."_

 

[a couple of _lonely_ months later.]

 

it was dark outside today. the wind blew cold. heavy, dark storm clouds swirled in the sky and blocked the sun. the trees bent with the air, and thunder rumbled softly in the distance.

chenle sat on the highest roof, after climbing up the highest balcony, on the top most floor. his legs dangled over the edge, his dull eyes staring off over the gorgeous rolling hills now filled with darkened light.

if the maids found him up here, he'd be in trouble and he knew it. not like they actually cared, anyways. not like his parents would really care or rush home if they heard their only son had _“fallen”_ from the rooftop onto the concrete surrounding the pool and hot tubs below.

maybe renjun would care, _but he was all the way in china._

the troubled boy's hands found his hair, his fingers tangling themselves in the blond mess as he leaned back against the rooftop.

chenle's eyes opened to stare up at the grey sky. how pretty it looked, much like a painting, chenle thought. though, he was blinking suddenly when a water drop abruptly landed in his eye. _that was his cue._

shifting to sit up, chenle scooted back to the far ledge, grabbing the edge of the roof and using his judgement to step backwards onto the thick stone railing of the balcony below.

from there, he padded across the marble beginning to stain with raindrops, back into one of the many spare bedrooms it connected to. he shut the glass door behind him, sighing as he was greeted with a quiet home. a sound he was used to hearing quite often. _all the time._

“ _chenle!_ chenle. oh, there you are.”

one of the maids rushed into the doorway, smiling softly at the boy.

“your phone has been ringing for the passed twenty minutes. where have you been?”

a fake smile displayed itself upon chenle’s lips, getting ready to lie.

“just on the balcony. then it started raining.”

“alright, well here. i think it was renjun.”

she handed him his phone, which he took with a sort of huff. he hated when the maids touched his things and were a little too nosy. though, he knew it was just their job. he probably wouldn’t have checked his phone anyways.

with a sigh, chenle unlocked his phone, seeing he had nineteen messages, and one voicemail. tilting his head, he opened imessage.

_ratjun♡ messages (19)_

_unknown number, voicemail (1)_

unknown voicemail...? who on earth would want to be contacting him? still though, he pressed the play button, holding the phone to his ear:

_“AYO WASSUP YOU HOT BITCH! I WANNA MAKE YOU MINE! THE NAMES JAEMIN, BUT YOU CAN CALL ME ANYTIME!_

_“-okay... okay jaemin HANG UP THE PHONE-“_

_“-jisung you dumb shit i just did- oh FUCK HAHAHAH!”_

_end of voicemail._


	2. [two.]

_good lord. what the actual fuck was that?_

just a dumb prank call, he assumed. with that, chenle deleted the message with a small huff and opened renjun's messages instead.

_ratjun♡: LELE!!_   
_ratjun♡: CHENLE!!_   
_ratjun♡: ZHONG CHENLE!!_   
_ratjun♡: BITCH ASS HOE!!_   
_ratjun♡: THERES A PAINTING OF A DOLPHIN ON ONE OF THE WALLS NEAR MY DORM_   
_ratjun♡: IT REMINDED ME OF YOU_   
_ratjun♡: I MISS YOU BITCH_   
_ratjun♡: I LOVE YOU BITCH_   
_ratjun♡: I AIN'T NEVER GONNA STOP LOVIN YOU... BITCHHH_   
_ratjun♡: chen chen chen le le le_   
_ratjun♡: dolphin boy :(_   
_ratjun♡: dolphin baby_   
_ratjun♡: you better not be on the roof_   
_ratjun♡: you have to be carefulllll_   
_ratjun♡: you cant go up there aloneeee_   
_ratjun♡: chenleeeeee :((((_   
_ratjun♡: chenle please_   
_ratjun♡: i will not stop till you answer_   
_ratjun♡: cHENle_

the younger boy sighed, a smile soon spreading on his face. he missed renjun so much.

_dolphinlele🐬: i'm right here junnie lol calm ur tiddies nOW yOU sHouLd bE in sChoOl !_

he sent the message, sighing and collapsing on the bed behind him, his eyes closing for a second. there was next to nothing to do. as always. renjun was at school, another whole country away. and it was raining. and chenle felt _empty_.

_completely empty._

sitting up, he glanced across the room at his slouched reflection in the glass mirror. he looked pathetic. renjun was off doing something amazing. and what was he doing? sitting here, rotting and feeling sorry for himself. _hating_ himself. feeling selfish for hating his life, knowing anybody else might love this.

crinkling his nose, chenle's head hung low. tears pricked the corners of his eyes, which pooled at the edges of his lashes. all of a sudden, he wished someone was here to hold him. like renjun would do. now, seeing this scene of the crying rich boy on the bed, in his million-dollar mansion with everything he could ever want could be taken all the wrong ways.

_brat. ungrateful. spoiled. asshole rich kid._ no wonder all the kids in town hated him.

chenle wiped his eyes with the back of his hands, sniffling. he stood up and walked up to the long mirror, his eyes narrowed at his reflection as if it were some long-term enemy he was just now facing. chenle didn't care about money. he didn't ask for this or want any of this. _why couldn't he just be normal?_ with normal parents that took care of him and were actually home for the majority of his life? maybe live in a normal house downtown. 

before anybody else knew it, like anyone was watching, chenle threw one hard punch at the mirror out of pure emotion. he yelped in pain, the mirror shattering under the impact, his knuckles splitting open and blood seeping out seconds later. _fuck._

_"chenle?"_

the boy's eyes widened, quickly hiding his bleeding hand behind his back as he scrambled out of the room. he flew around the circle landing, almost tripping down the marble stairs as he ran at top speed towards his bedroom. more tears pricked his eyes, his wounded hand starting to sting and pinch in pain. _why did he do that?_ chenle grabbed one of his hoodies from his closet, slipping it over his head and putting his hood up.

"chenle, are you alright?!"

his mind was racing. thoughts going every which way. his breathing was uneven, a slight shake accommodated his small frame. tears burned in his eyes, though they wouldn't fall. his stomach turned. his head pounded. his pulse sped up. he couldn't even think properly. though, only one rational thought seemed to repeat in his mind. the only thought he could kind of focus on. 

_that was he needed to get out of here. just for now._

seconds later, he was dashing out of his room once again pushing right past the two maids that were standing there in his doorway, waiting to see what was wrong with the boy. though, they never got the chance.

_"chenle, wait!"_

he could barely hear them because he was too far off down the hallway now sliding down the railing of the rest of the staircase down to the main floor. chenle scrambled for the door, almost slipping on the marble floor as he did so.

his heart was racing, but his eyes focused on unlocking the two doors. once he succeeded, he threw them open, and he stared into the outdoors. his neatly trimmed bushes, trees, flowers, and grass were all being pelted with rain that came down hard from the gloomy sky above.

_nothing could be worse than staying here, though._

"ZHONG CHENLE! GET BACK HERE NOW!"

he almost jumped at the shout, glancing over his shoulder and meeting the sharp eyes of one of the maids. and he looked at her, his jaw clenched.

"don't you _dare_ go out that door!"

chenle just stood there, his injured hand shoved in the pocket of his hoodie, his eyes glazed over with determination. not once would he be told what to do by these people.

in the next second, he had turned on his heel, leaping out onto his porch, breaking into a full sprint. the cold rain actually felt like a blessing that came down and kissed his skin as he ran straight through his front yard and down the private walkway that led to his driveway. his shoes slapped against the hard pavement, his eyes welling with tears. though, he kept running.

and _running_. out of his neighborhood on the rolling hills, across streets, all the way down into the town. the rain was still pelting down, though not as hard anymore. chenle turned down a sheltered alley, away from the public eye as he slid down the brick wall, out of breath, soaking wet. it was so filthy here, but at that moment he couldn't seem to care all that much. instead, he focused on getting his heart rate to normal and his breathing under control.

this wasn't the first time he did this. this _surely_ wouldn't be his last either.

minutes of silence fell. silence joined with the light chatter of the town, mostly muffled from where he sat. in the dark alley. he was alone, _again_. but this time, in an environment of people. if that made any sense to anyone except himself.

pressing his palms to his eyes, chenle took a deep, shaky breath in an attempt to calm himself down more. so caught up in himself, in what he just did, he didn't realize there was a presence in front of him. not until the presence spoke.

_"yo kid, your hands bleeding."_


	3. [three.]

chenle's heart skipped a beat in surprise as he uncovered his eyes, looking up to see a pink-haired boy leaning against the opposite alley wall, a lollipop hanging from his mouth. chenle gulped, his eyes wavering from the boy to injured his hand, that was indeed still bleeding.

"who'd ya fight with? was it mark? you look like you got away pretty good." the stranger chuckled.

chenle just continued to stare up at the boy, not speaking. what should he say? no one has ever talked to him during the times he's escaped here.

"you a mute? say, you look kinda familiar..."

the pink-haired boy took a step closer, taking the lollipop from his mouth and tilting his head. chenle's wide eyes glanced over him quickly, seeing this boy was dressed in baggy clothing. he didn't exactly look homeless, but he surely didn't look too wealthy either.

before chenle knew it, the kid was in a crouch in front of him- mere inches from his face, looking at chenle like he was some rare specimen. his eyes narrowed.

"so you really don't talk? or are you just fuckin' with me because i don't like to be fooled around with-"

in a fear of getting pummeled by this kid, chenle spoke quite quickly.

"n-no! i can talk. um- sorry i don't come here often..." he blurted out.

the boy broke into a sudden grin, waving his lollipop in front of chenle's face.

"really seems like it. names na jaemin. call me nana. or jaemin. doesn't matter to me."

jaemin? like, that prank voicemail he got from that unknown number?

"your name?"

"c-chenle."

"last name?"

"zh-"

"NANA! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"

a sudden new voice broke out, echoing from somewhere down the alley, cutting off chenle. jaemin sighed.

"I'M DOWN HERE YOU DUMB SHIT! I FOUND A KID!"

running footsteps were heard, then a black-haired boy emerged, his eyes narrowing at the sight of chenle right away.

"nana... who's this?"

"a kid. his name is chenle. his hands bleeding. he got in some sort of fight i think but he doesn't come here often he says." jaemin said all at once, shrugging and placing the lollipop back in his mouth before standing up.

chenle didn't know what to do. but this was easily the most excitement he's had all day. all week. for the past five months. longer, even.

"well... c'mon. jisung's waiting."

jisung? who was that? how many of them were there?

"yo kid- chenle. wanna come along?" jaemin suddenly asked, turning on his heel with a smile.

"nana, no." the other boy said sternly.

"nana, yes! he's coming. he's cute and small and probably has nowhere else to go."

well... chenle somehow wished that was the truth. the whole 'having nowhere else to go' thing.

the black-haired boy huffed, tightly grabbing onto jaemin's hand who pouted. chenle still observed from the ground, clutching his wounded hand to his chest. it didn't sting as badly anymore, but it still hurt.

"fine. but if something happens, it's your fault."

"nothing will happen! you're so overdramatic. we'll take him to jisung. c'mon kid, lets go."

chenle took a shaky breath. should he really go with these strangers...? they seemed kind of nice. jaemin was. they were just... different from what he was used to. a good kind of different. maybe a kind of different he needed. he wanted. 

so, with that- chenle arose from the dirty ground, brushing himself off before shuffling over to the two boys who were observing him the whole time.

"see? he's fine. oh, and this is lee jeno by the way. he's my boyfriend... unfortunately."

chenle flushed over slightly, nodding a 'hello' to the taller boy who nudged jaemin's arm with a glare as the other cackled. 

"just follow us. we're going to visit our friend, he lives just a couple blocks down. there's some food there too, you looked starved."

chenle's eyes widened slightly. well, fuck. they really thought he was... homeless or something. but, they treated him nicely and the same as any other. and he loved it. so, with a small smile adorning his lips, chenle followed behind the two boys who's hands were locked together. having no idea where he was going, he was already loving it. the freedom and adventure felt so nice. something he would much rather be doing than rotting back at home.

the three boys ventured down the alley and behind some shady buildings. behind them, chenle saw somethings he wished he didn't. there was an old man peeing in a can and two ladies fighting over a dead rat next to a bonfire. it was an experience, to say the least. the chinese boy had never seen such behavior, though he didn't speak up and instead kept very close behind jaemin and jeno. 

"yo chenle, you look pale as fuck. you alright?"

chenle looked up at jaemin, now falling in step beside him.

"y-yeah... i'm good." he half-lied with an assuring nod.

he was high key scared shitless at the moment, but it was fine. he had to pretend like everything was normal, and that he didn't feel like he was about to be shanked with a stick with every step he took.

soon though, he was led back up an alley and onto the main streets of the city where it was much brighter, and where a bunch of small apartments resided. chenle had never seen houses this small... did people really live in them?

jaemin and jeno eventually stopped at a small building on the end. each level of it had a small balcony, and old rusty stairs that zig-zagged up to the very top. it quite honestly looked like it could collapse at any moment. jaemin grabbed chenle's un-injured hand, tugging both boys to the stairs. 

"alright chenle, just follow us."

with wide eyes, chenle watched the two boy's start climbing the rusty stairs that literally looked like they would completely break with any step. he froze in his spot, jaemin looking back down at him.

"what are you waiting for, kid? c'mon! just be careful because if you step in the wrong place you might get yeeted off."

get yeeted off? oh, no. chenle's anxiety was now through the roof as he approached the stairs, placing his good hand on the degrading railing. come on, chenle. you can do this. taking a shaky breath, he slowly began to climb, his heart rate spiking every time the stairs so much as wobbled or made a noise. was this like, an everyday thing for people to do...?

"oi, jisung! open your window you little shit."

chenle looked above him, seeing jeno and jaemin had already reached the top and were now climbing through a fucking WINDOW. holy shit. chenle focused on his feet and praying to whatever god there was that this wouldn't be the death of him, till he finally got to the top. 

though the moment chenle finally looked up, he was nose-to-nose with a boy. it wasn't jaemin nor jeno. chenle froze in his spot, his face flushing over slightly. totally not over the fact that this boy was kind of really adorable.

"are you chenle?"

the chinese boy nodded, the other boy smiling in response.

"nice to meet you. i'm park jisung."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for all the sweet comments! y'all are so cute i'm really glad you like this story so far lmao. i'm sorry if i somehow fuck shit up but i'm going to try my best and update every couple days. thank you again and i really hope you enjoy this story ♡.


	4. [four.]

"you got in a fight?"

"well, not exactly-"

"right. come in."

jisung stepped back inside the window. chenle stood there for a few seconds, before finally gathering enough braincells to follow. he carefully stepped in the opening, his worn shoes hitting creeky hardwood floor seconds later.

now, if you were to see chenle on the street, you wouldn't think he lived in a billion dollar mansion up on the nicest hills in south korea. even though he did, he didn't dress like it. he didn't like to. and, in this situation, he was somehow thankful for it. they didn't have to know about the whole billion dollar family thing.

it was a little musty in the room he just stepped into. a bed laid in the corner surrounded by many pillows. a bunch of random objects also laid around the room, making chenle slightly confused as he gazed upon many empty packets of cigarettes. but anyways, the room smelled like fake air freshener, an underwhelming smell that somehow fit the vibe. he was sure the room was used as a bedroom. a very, very poor bedroom. though the floors were clean of strewn objects and clothing, and everything was otherwise pretty organized and kept away. hm.

chenle finally looked up, seeing jaemin and jeno slip out the door adjacent from him, jisung standing in front of him now. fuck, had they been talking the whole time and he was just too distracted to listen?

anyways, jisung stood with his arms crossed over his chest, an oversized hoodie hanging off his frame. this was the first time chenle got a good look at this kid. the boy was taller than chenle by a few inches, and he had hair icy-blue color that peeked out from under the hood he was wearing, captivating chenle's eyes . he admired it, actually. the boy's face was full, his lips plump and his eyes glossy. wow.

and he looked right back at chenle, an amused and interested grin framing his lips. he took a few steps closer to chenle.

"you're so small. lemme see your hand." jisung mumbled, gently taking the chenle's injured hand in his, examining it.

chenle hissed softly at the contact, trying to relax as the other boy's longer fingers traced over the cuts and dried blood on his knuckles. he then looked up at chenle, a smirk now on his lips.

"you didn't get in a fight, did you?"

chenle's heart pounded, his wide eyes staring warily back into jisung's slightly-intimidating gaze.

"no... no, i didn't."

"glass did this. what'd you punch?"

chenle cleared his throat embarrassingly, looking away. he was such an idiot.

"a mirror..."

instead of laughing, jisung just hummed.

"mm. interesting. why?"

chenle's eyes narrowed a little in slight confusion and annoyance as to why the other was so interested in the reason behind why he fucking punched a mirror. he had just met this kid. how did chenle even get in this position in the first place...? oh, right. he got caught up in his mess of a mind and ran off.

"i... uh- there was a bug." chenle said simply, the lie burning itself on his tongue.

at this, jisung snorted. chenle was so, so close to doing the same. it did indeed sound stupid.

"hard punch for a bug. whatever, i don't believe you but i'll fix you up anyways."

chenle blinked, his eyes narrowing again. though before he could protest or even respond, jisung grabbed his wrist, guiding chenle across the room to a... bathroom of sorts. it didn't have a door, but the hinges were still on the wall.

"where are you from, chenle?"

he didn't have a choice but to answer as the other suddenly ducked below the sink, that looked like it could crumble at any second- by the way. what should he say...?

"not around here. i prefer not to say..." he mumbled, the other boy standing back up and looking at him like he was crazy.

"i mean, okay."

jisung placed a small first aid box on the sink counter, opening it and taking out cotton swabs and some liquid.

"where am i, by the way?" chenle asked all of a sudden, watching the other pour the liquid onto the cotton.

a smile formed on jisung's lips, grabbing chenle's injured hand and pressing the cotton to it with no warning. 

chenle hissed and whined out in pain, yanking his hand back and holding it close to him. what the hell was this kid trying to do? kill him? drug him? 

"chill, kid. it's gonna sting. haven't you ever been hurt before?"

chenle narrowed his eyes, still protectively holding his hand to his chest. the truth was, he hasn't really physically been hurt on accident before. nor had he received this type of treatment.

"listen, i'm not from around here... i'm sorry but i'm not used to this. i don't need this. my hand is fine and it will be fine and i'll be fine! i think i should go. this place is musty and gross. where is your door? i am for sure not climbing those stairs again on god i will have a fucking heart attack and die somehow-"

"holy shit you talk a lot." jisung interrupted with the smallest huff.

chenle's ears turned slightly red. when he was nervous, he got anxious. believe it or not, he had ADHD but was on strong medications for it, since his parents couldn't deal with it any longer. like they had to, anyways.

"first of all, there is literally a piece of fucking glass in your skin, i was going to tell you that. and if you want to leave, leave. but this is all we have, you should understand that. maybe nana-hyung was just too nice of a person to bring you here, right? maybe i was just pretending to fix your hand."

guilt simmered in chenle's stomach. fuck. he shouldn't have burst out like that, even though he couldn't help it. he stared at the boy, realizing that these people were real. some of the realest he's ever seen. jisung was right. chenle was sure they had next to nothing, yet their hearts were big and caring. unlike at home, where everybody had everything they could ever want, yet they only pretended to care about him. for the money. all for the money.

chenle opened his mouth to speak, when the door to the bedroom suddenly opened again, jaemin and jeno walking back inside. 

"what's up, baby chicks. yo, are you guys okay?"

jaemin curved the corner, his eyebrow raised at the two boy's standing by the bathroom sink. jisung put on a small smile. 

"everything's great." said the blue-haired boy, taking chenle's hand again and pressing the cotton to it.

this time, chenle did not hiss in pain or whine. he kept it in, still feeling horribly guilty about his words. god, why was he so dumb?

"yo kid, you never told me what your last name was."

chenle looked from his hand to jaemin, who had another lollipop in his mouth. he wasn't thinking.

"oh- it's zhong."

he should have lied. he should have lied. jeno spoke up seconds after.

"wait... zhong? from the rich family?"

and, there it was.


	5. [five.]

"wait... zhong? from the rich family?"

chenle's chest tightened, his heart pumping faster and faster as he felt the eyes of all three of them melting into his skin. he dared waver his gaze to jisung, who had stopped what he was doing to chenle's hand, now looking at the boy and awaiting an answer.

"chenle...?" jaemin spoke.

why, why did this always happen? why couldn't he just... lie? why did he have to be fucking born into such a horrible family with horrible parents and a horrible mindset of it all? chenle's eyes began to water.

"you're the fucking rich kid, aren't you." jeno suddenly snapped.

there were the words. chenle snapped out of his senses, glancing over to jeno, who had a glare on his features. he then looked at jaemin, who's mouth was pressed to a straight line. the scary thing was, he wasn't speaking this time.

"get out."

chenle's breath caught in his throat at the words that came from jeno again.

"you and your family have been nothing but assholes. they shit on everybody who's not like them."

chenle felt the tears, hot and fresh, ready to fall on his cheeks. but, he wasn't like them. he didn't want to be like them. his parents. jisung had let go of his hand already.

"why the fuck are you even here? i said, get out." jeno growled.

chenle took a sharp breath, helplessly looking over at jaemin.

"sorry, kid." he mumbled, sticking his lollipop back in his mouth as he stared at his feet, with an almost disappointed expression.

and, finally chenle looked at jisung right in the eye. other looked back with some hurt in the mists of his brown orbs.

"chenle-"

"i-i'm sorry... i'm sorry for wasting your time. i thought... just maybe i could escape for a little-"

"oh, yeah. just gotta escape from your billion dollar house for a little and go brag about your riches down here where we don't have SHIT-"

"jeno, shut up! he's crying." jaemin scolded.

and, chenle was. his hands were in his hair, his palms over his eyes, as if trying to press the tears back in. he sniffled, taking his hands away from his eyes.

"kid, you should leave. i'm sorry, i thought you were... like us."

chenle was already walking towards the window without having to be told twice, his arms around his small frame.

"don't come back here-"

"shut up, jeno!"

chenle pressed open the window, hooking one leg over and stepping onto the shaky stairs. at this point, he couldn't care less if they collapsed underneath him.

taking one final glance back at the three boys, jaemin and jeno talking under their breaths to each other. but, jisung was still standing at the sink, his eyes locking with chenle's. chenle froze for that second, trying to calm himself down enough to not start sobbing right in that moment.

though, jisung never said anything. it really did all seem too good to be true, anyways. therefore, chenle proceeded out the window and back down the wobbly stairs.

more tears streamed down his face once his feet hit the ground, not even glancing back at the house, where indeed a certain blue-haired boy was watching while chenle broke into a sprint down the road.

he was fully crying now, trying his best not to completely fall apart in the middle of the road. his one shot of maybe having some other friends was blown. and, of course- it was his background that got him hurt. every damn time.

after about two blocks of running, he slowed to a walk, his hood up and his arms wrapped around himself as he stared at his shoes. he was tired. hungry. sore. his hand stung. all he wanted to do was sleep, and never awake again. what he wanted was to also go back in time, so he never told them his last name. all because of his fucking last name.

he didn't really know where he was going either, but he kept walking. looking for nothing really. though, he knew he had to go back home at some point. unfortunately. he really wish he didn't. he thought he deserved to feel like this. like shit.

chenle arrived upon the alley he first sat down in. he began walkking down it, where jaemin and jeno had led him earlier. he turned the corner, gazing down behind the buildings, where all of the homeless people were and where he saw the old man peeing in a can before.

"who are you? i seen you walking with jeno and his bitch before. you new?"

chenle jumped and let out a dolphin-scream of surprise as he whipped around to the voice, seeing a shorter man. chenle was so deep in thought he nearly shit himself. and he couldn't find words again, as usual. because he was trying to recover from the heart attack he just received.

"holy shit- i'm so sorry. damn, that scream was high-pitched. like a little dolphin."

chenle just blinked, his eyes wide as he clutched his chest, calming his racing heart. the boy looked to be about his age, a little older. dressed in baggy clothing, but it seemed to fit his figure.

"your eyes are really red. what were you smoking?"

"i... i wasn't s-smoking anything-"

"mm, okay. but, i would get out of here before mark comes back. he doesn't like newcomers. i suggest you go back that way."

the boy pointed back down the alley. chenle nodded quickly. he learned easily that he should leave when he's asked. otherwise, there would be issues.

"i'm hyuck, by the way. in case you get in any trouble with mark, just say you're a friend of mine and he'll spare you." the boy said, hopefully jokingly but chenle couldn't really tell.

"o-oh okay-"

"yeah. he's not somebody you want to cross lines with. but it was nice meeting you...?"

"uh- c-chenle."

"chenle, right. you're actually kind of adorable. i really wouldn't want to see your face bloodied up by mark's fist." hyuck chuckled, patting chenle on the shoulder.

chenle, to say the least was mortified by this boy's words, but turned down the alley to leave as he had said.

"WAIT! i almost forgot. you said you were chenle?"

chenle turned around slowly and nodded, his heart beginning to race again. he prayed to whatever god there was in that second that hyuck didn't know about his last name.

"the kid stopped by right before you. said if i met a guy named chenle, to give this to you. so, here."

out of his pocket, hyuck took out a piece of paper that was folded. chenle raised his eyebrows, taking it carefully.

"now mark will actually kill you and he'll be back any second. bye, chenle! nice meeting you!"

chenle smiled nervously, waving awkwardly back at hyuck before walking back down the alley and breaking into a sprint seconds after. he was terrified and he wasn't used to this. and he had a paper. a wonderful combination to fuel his current emotions and get him into more trouble.

chenle made it to the end of the alley at last, out of breath. his feet hurt from all the running, and his stomach growled. he should probably head home. he wouldn't be surprised if the maids had called the police to look for him already. plus, the sun would be going down soon. and there was no way in heaven or hell that was chenle going to be stuck here at night.

chenle held the paper hyuck had given him. what the hell could it be? and who could it be from? taking a deep breath, he began unfolding the paper. squinting, his eyes scanned over the small handwriting.

chenle,

meet me in the alley tomorrow (i'm not going to beat you up).

-park jisung


	6. [six.]

"zhong chenle, get in the car."

long story short, chenle's theory was correct. the maids had sent out the police, and they did indeed find him. he was forced into the car, making sure to tuck the paper he had received deep in his hoodie pocket.

"y'know, kid. you shouldn't just run away like that." 

chenle held back from rolling his eyes, seeing the police officer's eyes watching him through the small mirror above the dashboard. 

"it won't happen again..." chenle grumbled, looking out the window as the scenery was transitioning from the poorer city streets and buildings, to open rolling hills and neatly trimmed bushes. 

the drive was then silent, chenle sitting slumped in the backseat with his arms crossed. sure, he was pissed. but, he couldn't stop thinking about the note. about what it said. about park jisung. the boy with the blue hair. and the fact that he gave the note to the other boy in the alley, somehow knowing chenle was going to walk by there. 

this was the only thing that gave chenle any sense of hope. with renjun gone in china. the whole situation that went over today. and, of course his fucking parents never being here for god's sakes. 

"don't let this happen again, kid. alright?" 

chenle barely responded with a lazy "okay", before he pushed open the door and exited the police car that had rolled up his long, private driveway. this situation of an officer dropping chenle off back at home wasn't as common anymore, though it's happened many times before. but usually, renjun would be dropped off with him.

at the big doors to his home, maids stood with their arms crossed. 

"zhong chenle, you can't run away like that!"

chenle barely spoke as he brushed by them, heading towards the stairs. a jolt of excitement suddenly went through his body. oh, what a fucking day this was. despite all the drama it was filled with, it was something new. rather than getting mad and bored and punching mirrors back at home. alone. 

"y'know, you can stop acting like you care. i get it. my parents pay you well. you're payed to care for me. make it easy for yourselves and drop the caring part. i'm sure it will  
make your lives easier." 

with those words now hanging heavy in the dead silent air, chenle grinned to himself. jogging up the stairs and down several hallways to his bedroom.

within a couple seconds, the wrinkled paper was out of his hoodie pocket, and he was staring at it. a little bit of nervousness dropped suddenly in his stomach. what if jisung was lying? what if he brings jeno and the guy like... kills him or something? 

chenle shrugged. it honestly wouldn't be such a bad thing... now that he thought of it. 

a small smile adorned his lips. chenle, despite his worries—somehow believed the boy's "i'm not going to beat you up" part of the note. 

after all, while jeno was yelling chenle, jaemin spoke up in some agreement with his boyfriend. but, jisung didn't. 

and the look from the jisung's glossy eyes chenle received as he left through the window was enough to put faith in chenle that jisung meant some good. somehow, someone else seemed to care. maybe, maybe a little bit. 

or, he could be all wrong. he hoped he wasn't. he really, really hoped he wasn't. 

chenle glanced across the room to the mirror, his dirty, ruffled-hair, sweaty self staring back. 

he looked insane. never has he never been this dirty. he walked closer to the mirror, slowly holding his hand up to see the small cuts that were still lining his knuckles through the reflection. 

chenle broke into a sudden grin, before bursting out in a dolphin-like laugh. why he was laughing? he didn't even know. but he was sure he would look fucking crazy to any bystander around him, if there were any. 

he kicked off his worn shoes, his expensive carpet now dirty from the bottoms of them. chenle shuffled over to his own bathroom connected to his bedroom. 

he slid his hoodie off and over his head, removing his shirt underneath it as well. he started the shower, before removing the rest of his clothes and stepping inside the warm haven.

the hot water pricked his skin, the glass walls of the shower starting to fog up with steam. he relaxed, letting the water pour down on his hair and face. a deep contrast from the cold rain he felt earlier.

and, he was reminded as he watched the water run down the drain below his feet; 

that he was alone. again.


	7. [seven.]

"you're fucking joking me, lele."

chenle shrugged, stuffing a piece of toast into his mouth and slumping over the broad kitchen island, holding his phone out in front of him. renjun's shocked face stared back at him on the facetime call, unblinkingly.

"i'm not kidding you."

he had just told renjun about the events that went over yesterday, leaving out a few details he wasn't really... comfortable with sharing. even with his best friend. just the part about the note from jisung. he didn't want renjun to know that he was going back there. he didn't know how his friend would react.

"damn. i'm gone like what... two weeks and you're already getting in trouble? without me? if i was there, i would have whooped some serious ass."

chenle burst out into high-pitched laughter, almost choking as he swallowed what was in his mouth.

"you're a fucking twink, junnie! i'm telling you, this kid jeno would have broken you in half within seconds."

"i still would have tried! you know that. power of the gays."

"you would have ended up dead! i'd have to drag your beaten corpse home and resurrect you somehow."

"that would be messy. the maids would have a lot to clean up."

both boys this time burst out into laughter, though it soon faded and a short silence filled the air. chenle stared at his phone screen, at renjun. the younger rested his cheek on his arm, a short frown falling over his lips. he missed his best friend. a lot. it wasn't the same without him.

renjun finally noticed this scene, tilting his head to look at chenle, mimicking his frown.

"baby dolphin looks sad..."

chenle pouted even more, squishing his cheek further against his arm.

"baby dolphin is sad. i miss you, rat..."

at this, renjun gave a sad smile.

"i miss you more, lele."

chenle wished that renjun was back in korea. back in his room, screaming lyrics to some day6 song. sitting on the roof. sneaking into town. laughing at literally anything, even if it wasn't at all funny. but instead, he was doing amazing things in china. where he had a future. and chenle was more than happy for him, but also guiltily sad at the same time. he sighed to himself.

he just wanted his best friend next to him again.

 

\- an hour or two later -

 

it was a little bit after chenle hung up with renjun because he had to study, when chenle went to his bedroom. and, guess what he was doing? staring at that note. he bit his lip, checking his phone for the time. it was mid-afternoon, nearing the time where he ran away yesterday, the time he assumed he was supposed to meet jisung today. the boy didn't really give him a said time, so he was left to guess.

chenle had decided he was going already, not caring if he would be shanked or drugged. he had some faith in the other boy. he wanted to see what would come out of this. he needed something to.

chenle slipped a hoodie over his small frame, shoving his phone in the back pocket of his jeans and tied up his black converse. now, he just had to lie.

he quickly found the nicest maid, who was carrying laundry. she was always kind to him, the only one that made chenle believe maybe one of them actually cared about him.

"miss, may i please go for a short walk through the neighborhood? i'm really bored, and i promise i'll be back in an hour or so. may i...?"

the maid looked him over, giving him the smallest of smiles.

"okay, yes. but be back soon, please. before sunset. and don't tell the others. you're technically still grounded, young man."

chenle grinned, bowing shortly to her.

"i will. thank you so much!"

and, that's how it's done. biting his tongue, he slid down the railing down the staircase, checking both ways for any of the other maids- before making a break for the door.

chenle safely slipped outside into the warm air. the weather was nice today, unlike the other day. the breeze ran cool and the sky was cloudless and bright. he hoped the weather would reflect on how things would go when he got into town.

so before anybody could stop him, chenle broke into a sprint down his driveway, taking a shorter path down the hill that was shaded by trees in case any of the maids saw him running from the house.

he broke into a jog, and then a walk a few minutes later when he started heading into town. he threw his hood over his head, making sure to keep his head down. he didn't need to run into trouble. also known as; jaemin, jeno, that hyuck kid or even that boy hyuck warned him about. mark, or something. nope, not today satan.

chenle looked up briefly to cross the street, seeing the alley ahead. he took a shallow breath. okay, chenle. stay calm.

as he approached, the nervousness finally hit him, dropping in his stomach like a weight. was this really, really a good idea...? he was starting to think not.

what if jisung wasn't even there? what if it as a trap? what if it was a setup? what if jeno was actually there and he got stabbed or something? what if-

"there you are."

chenle screamed, again. really loudly. just like last time. his frantic eyes focused on the boy. and he thanked the gods that it wasn't jeno or a murderer. it was jisung, who was now grinning.

"nice scream. you sound like a dolphin. didn't mean to scare you."

chenle didn't say anything as he tried to catch his breath, putting a hand over his chest at the blue-haired boy stared at him.

"s-sorry i wasn't expecting that."

jisung just chuckled, and perhaps it was the purest sound chenle's ever heard before. or, he was having a stroke. either or. 

soon though jisung's face grew more serious, which scared chenle a bit. but, before the boy spoke, his eyes flicked both directions as he grabbed chenle's arm, tugging the boy more down the alley. 

"don't want anybody seeing you. basically, half the town knows about the whole situation yesterday and most want to punch you. blame jeno. no offense, but everyone hates your parents. they hate you now too. i don't, though. but you have to make me believe that. you follow?"

chenle tilted his head slightly, understanding everything except the last part.

"huh-"

"you're small. how old are you?"

"17."

"same! 2002?"

"2001, actually."

jisung grinned, and this time chenle did too. his heart rate was finally back to normal, and just that small conversation alone was enough to simmer his anxieties. the blue-haired boy hummed.

"i knew you were different. no one punches mirrors that hard when they see a bug."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> renjun's a fuckin' twink lmao (don't worry i <3 him & they all are).


	8. [eight.]

"have an issue with heights?"

"uh- no. not really." 

jisung nodded, a small grin forming on his lips.

"okay. i know a place we can talk. stay close follow me. put your hood up, too. i don't want to get us in any trouble."

chenle followed the other boy's directions, slipping his hood over his head as jisung took his forearm, tugging the chinese boy closer to his hip- which in response made chenle stumble and almost fall flat on his face. god, why was he so clumsy?

"sorry, i'm really clumsy..." chenle mumbled, doing a sort of embarrassed pout that made jisung chuckle.

"can't be clumsier than hyuck. he literally broke his leg jumping in the air one time. that was the only time i've seen mark really in a panic. but don't worry, it's kinda cute when you do it."

chenle smiled painfully, though it faded at the last part, and instead his face felt warm.

"wait what-"

"grab here and keep your head down."

jisung took chenle's hand and hooked it onto the back-hem of his hoodie.

"if someone talks to you, you don't respond unless i say. okay?" jisung instructed, turning to look at the other boy, his gaze somehow soft. 

some blue strands of hair peeked out from under his hoodie, framing the edges of his brown eyes.

chenle nodded in response, trying not to stare for too long. he really wanted to fully see jisung's hair. it looked so soft, and he wanted to touch it. 

"alright. walking in the streets is too risky. there's less people in the alleys so we'll go this way." 

in the next second, they started speed-walking, the younger boy's hand moving back to lay over chenle's. 

chenle knew he was practically forbidden to come back here, and all the backstreet people wanted to see him lying dead in a puddle of blood- but why was jisung being so... protective? was it really that bad?

they arrived at the end of the alley. the left was the way to the house chenle was in before, and the right was where he had met hyuck the other day.

surprisingly, jisung led him down the way he met hyuck. he had no clue where the hell they were going.

"head down."

chenle dipped his head even lower, his eyes focusing on nothing but him and jisung's shoes shuffling along the unpaved, damp alleyway. he couldn't lift his head to look around, so basically, all of his trust was forced in to jisung. not so bad, right? sure. he hoped. 

"fuck." jisung cursed under his breath.

chenle tensed a little. oh no. 

"i knew we shouldn't have gone this way-"

"yo, is that you kid?"

that sounded like hyuck. chenle kept his head down, his smaller body now hiding behind jisung completely, the younger's hand holding on to his that was still gripping his hoodie tightly.

"yeah, it's just me hyung-"

"who's that with you? jaemin?"

chenle didn't dare look up now. he continued staring down at his feet. he wouldn't be surprised if jisung felt his own heartbeat against his back with how fast it was pounding. maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea.

"no. this is an old friend of mine. he has a broken nose."

jisung squeezed chenle's hand, and he finally got the message. chenle moved a sweater paw up to his nose. thank god it was almost big enough to cover his face. he continued to tilt his head down, his heart still pounding with nervousness. jisung slowly started to walk again, dragging the smaller boy closely along. 

"aw. how'd that happen-"

"no time, hyuck. i'm going to get him home and fix him up. where's mark?"

"out. man, he's pissed about that boy that came here yesterday. chenle. i thought he was just a cute kid though, didn't seem douchebaggy at all. if mark found out i talked to him though he would beat my-"

"yeah i heard about that. okay bye, hyuck! talk to you soon!" 

in the next second, both boy's were sprinting away past hyuck. chenle was on the verge of tears at this point. holy shit. that was hands down the scariest thing he ever experienced. he spoke too soon.

"hey!"

jisung came to an abrupt stop, like he ran into something, the motion causing chenle's head to ram against jisung's back. shit. that was a new voice.

"what did i say about running in the alley?"

"you told me no running in the alley, hyung."

"usually it's jaemin. don't do it again. now, who the fuck is this?"

before chenle or jisung could even breathe, the smaller of the two was being yanked out from behind jisung's back. chenle tripped and fell to his knees onto the hard pavement, doing his best to keep his head low as he bit his lip, holding back any cries that dared escape. fuck. fuck. 

within seconds, jisung was grabbing chenle's arm, about to yank him to his feet when mark literally shoved the younger back, grabbing chenle's hood and ripping it off of his head. 

"mark-hyung wait-"

chenle's breathing was ragged as the man grabbed his hair, yanking it back so chenle was staring dead up at him. 

tears brimmed chenle’s eyes as he stared at this boy, a glare shooting back at him that would send anyone running. he winced, the grip on his hair becoming painful. 

"is this the kid?"

chenle's heart was pounding, and fear ran through every bone in his small body. mark's eyes never left him, his glare becoming sharper and sharper, and chenle was sure he was going to die right here. this was it. 

"hyung, please stop." jisung begged, quickly scrambling to his feet and trying to wedge himself between chenle and the other man. 

mark's grip never loosened on chenle's hair, and tears now streamed down his pale cheeks. 

"out of my way. now.” 

"i can't do that, hyung. please let him go. he means no harm-"

chenle barely saw it, but there was a crack, and soon jisung was stumbling to the side holding his cheek. holy shit. now it was chenle's turn. 

the small chinese boy at this point was crying. the boy that lived on some of the nicest hills in korea. that lived in a big, beautiful mansion with everything he could ever want. almost everything he could ever want. 

"think you're so hot, huh? with all your money? i've been waiting to get my hands on  
you for awhile, rich kid." 

chenle was trembling before he was suddenly roughly pulled to his feet. the first punch was to his stomach, which painfully pushed every ounce of air out of chenle's lungs. 

he doubled over, clutching where he was hit. he was pushed back again, and a fist collided with his face. 

he was trapped. he couldn't hear anything, or see anything. he missed renjun. he missed his house. he didn't even try to fight back, or run away. this was what he deserved. 

where was jisung? was this it? did jisung take him here to die? 

he couldn't count the next punches that came. he couldn't hear the words that were being yelled by his attacker, nor any words that came from bystanders. if there were even any. 

it seemed so long, but soon... the punches stopped. 

his bruised body was being held, and shouts were audible though he couldn't focus on what they were saying. 

"chenle? hey, can you hear me? i'm here. it's okay. i'm so sorry..."

his eyes opened, though he never remembered closing them. a blurry, concerned face of jisung and head full of blue hair stared down at him. 

"we have to go while we can." 

the boy lifted his head, all parts of his body screaming in pain. his head pounded, but his eyes focused on two figures yards away. 

"mark you need to let him go! love, look at me. okay? you can't kill this kid. he did nothing wrong." 

hyuck? was that hyuck talking to mark? he didn't have time to figure it out, because his body was being pulled up off of the ground he didn't know he was laying on. 

he felt unbelievably dizzy, and his ribs hurt. his face felt as if somebody hit him with a baseball bat, like five times. and his wrist felt out of place, or something. he could barely stand. 

"holy shit..." jisung whispered, chenle's tired and defeated eyes trying to stay open. 

a shout erupted, and jisung quickly scooped up the smaller, beaten boy into his arms. chenle would have acted more surprised if- you know, he didn't just get the living shit beat out of him. 

when jisung broke into a run, chenle reached to grip the boy's hoodie with small fingers. his eyes began to close with tiredness and pure exhaustion. he had no more energy. 

stay awake, chenle. stay awake. come on. 

though, it was not moments later- chenle completely passed out in the arms of the younger;

who kept running, never stopping till he reached his home blocks away.


	9. [nine.]

zhong chenle never was a complainer. 

who needed to be when your family was rich, right? that's the idea that is assumed, therefore hanging over chenle's head every time he was on the verge of complaining. he felt he had no reason to. though, in other ways- he had a right to.

his parents not being there for most of his life as being one example. his ADHD being ignored and neglected was another.

this was what the people in the town didn't understand about the chinese boy. this was what was hidden behind the scenes of which they didn't know. and one, only one person in this town was giving him a chance.

chenle couldn't just throw it away.

several minutes later, chenle felt his body awaken. he regretted it all instantly.

a stabbing pain stuck to his stomach and ribs. his jaw and cheekbone stung, as well as his eye which felt puffy and droopy. his wrist felt wrapped up, and his forehead pounded with a burning headache. overall, his entire body felt as if he was hit by a speeding truck. like, really hard.

something else felt strange too... holy fuck he didn't have a shirt on under this blanket!

chenle's eyes finally shot open, his good hand gripping onto the soft comforter that was covering him. this bed was quite soft as well. he turned his head very slowly, quickly realizing where he was. 

the house. he was back in the house he was in yesterday. with jeno and jaemin. where he got kicked out of. shit.

footsteps sounded, making chenle avert his gaze to the bathroom where somebody walked out. his tired eyes focused on the bright blue hair, and right away he knew it was jisung. the taller boy noticed he was awake and spoke quickly.

"do NOT move. you took a lot of punches, and you could break a rib if you move too quickly."

chenle's eyes went a little wide, his body tensing which caused sharp pins and needles to spark on his abdomen. a low sigh erupted from the younger, who was now standing next to the bed. his voice was pretty deep for his age, chenle realized.

but, he watched the boy's eyes softened, and the small frown that fell over his plump lips.

"i'm sorry i got you into this. i told you to come, and i took you the wrong way. i should have known mark was going to be there. i was stupid, and i'm sorry. i shouldn't have even risked it. this,"

he gestured to all of chenle.

"is my fault."

chenle felt his heart break a little. jisung looked so genuinely upset with himself and his actions. and that hurt chenle. really, none of this was jisung's fault. so, why was he blaming himself? chenle was everything but mad at him.

"jisung. listen."

chenle attempted to sit up before wincing in pain, deciding intelligently to just stay still.

"if you think this is your fault, it isn't. it really, really isn't. it's my own. but i don't regret it... do you know why?"

chenle took a short breath, jisung's gaze still soft as he looked back at the chinese boy. chenle took a risk and locked eyes with the younger.

"you're the only person that gave me a chance. and that to me, is worth getting beat up over. just to know that someone... cares, maybe? is all worth it when you really don't have anyone else."

when chenle finished, his voice was a little shaky and his good hand was balled up in the sheets below him. he didn't realize it took so much of him to say that.

but, the blue-haired boy just stood there. and strangely, chenle felt like jisung saw right through him at that moment. right through his head, and could read his thoughts. he felt so exposed at first, but it was as if jisung was seeing the beaten-up boy for the first time.

"wow... is that true?"

chenle just nodded, his eyes still on the younger. jisung averted his gaze to the floor for a second.

"you're just... misunderstood, then."

chenle didn't say anything, his eyes moving to the floor as well. come on, chenle. don't cry. now is not the time to get emotional.

he was so focused on not crying however, that he never realized that jisung was now standing beside the bed. memories suddenly flooded back. jisung carried him all the way here. chenle remembered passing out in his arms.

chenle looked up, his eyes focusing on the blue-hair laying soft across jisung's forehead. his gaze then moved down, scanning over jisung's face. his eyes narrowed slightly.

there was a dark bruise residing on the younger's cheekbone. chenle had forgotten he got punched. it looked like much more though. because the boy's bottom lip was slightly swollen like it had been bleeding. and there was a red ring around his neck, fingermarks were clearly visible. he was injured, too. guilt settled in chenle's stomach.

not only that, but he couldn't deny the fact that jisung was in fact very attractive despite this. more beautiful, actually. his features were unique, even when they were bruised up. how was that possible?

"what's wrong?"

jisung's question snapped chenle out of his trance. embarrassed, chenle tried to redeem himself.

"your... your face. you're hurt. and you should take care of it."

it took a second, but the younger broke out into a sort of smirk that literally almost sent chenle flying.

"sure that's the only thing...?" jisung clicked his tongue, his head tilting, that dumb fucking smirk still lining his lips.

chenle's face felt hot, really really quickly. and he didn't know why, nor did he want to know why. jisung just laughed.

"i'm kidding, you know. it was a joke."

chenle just rolled his eyes playfully, making jisung grin. 

it was silent for a few moments as the two boys just gazed at each other. and, for once it just felt so normal. two... almost normal people. just looking at each other without it being awkward. like they've known each other for years.

jisung suddenly shifted to stand up.

"i'm going to help you sit up. i need to see if you broke a rib."

chenle's eyes widened suddenly, pressing his un-wrapped hand to the blanket over his bare chest.

"um, excuse me i have no shirt on."

jisung rolled his eyes heavily, a mocking smile coming to his lips again.

"would you rather suffer and stay like this forever?

chenle huffed, now sulking. he honestly was so embarrassed now. jisung had to have taken his shirt off him at some point, which means he saw chenle half-naked already. whatever. fuck it.

"fine."

in the next second or two, jisung was leaning over chenle, helping the boy slid up a little. the smaller boy held his breath, trying not to cry out in pain as he was moved into a half-sitting position.

paranoia suddenly struck chenle, and his eyes widened as he looked around the room. his heart was beating faster.

"w-won't jaemin and jeno come...? come in?"

jisung glanced back to where chenle was looking, before turning back to the nervous boy.

"no. i locked the window and the curtain is up. we're safe here."

chenle nodded, trying to calm his racing mind. jisung grabbed the blanket, starting to pull it away from a distracted chenle who quickly realized and pulled it back.

"chenle..." jisung huffed.

"no thanks. i rather not." chenle said calmly, really not wanting to be more embarrassed than he already was.

"do you wanna be in pain? there could be something seriously wrong. now come on let me see-"

"why didn't you just do it while i was passed out?"

"i didn't want to scare you!"

"well i'm not giving consent now!"

"come on-"

"EXCUSE ME! always use consent! no means no! who are you with, jisung-ah!?" a voice called.

all of a sudden, none other then na jaemin strode into the room through the door, a lollipop in his mouth and a determined look on his face.

chenle's head was already under the covers as soon as jaemin spoke, his heart pounding as he cursed under his breath. you had to be fucking joking.

"have i not taught you anything? wait, who's on your bed?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL I GOT TICKETS TO SEE NCT 127 LIVE ON THE FLOOR I'M !1!!!1!!1!!1!11!!!!1
> 
> i hope you enjoyed the chapter though <3.


	10. [ten.]

"have i taught you nothing? wait, who's on your bed?"

chenle could feel his whole body shake. his small frame was also covered by the hot blanket that was now suffocating him, but that didn't matter at the moment.

"who said you could come in here? where the fuck did you come from!?" jisung exclaimed suddenly, and chenle was thankful for it because it distracted jaemin.

"we slept here! remember? i've been downstairs all day with jeno."

"i thought you left this morning!"

"briefly! we came back."

"how did you get in?"

"the old dude taeil that lives on the bottom floor let us through the front door."

he thought he heard jisung curse, and suddenly the blanket was being tugged off of him before chenle could even react.

the surprised face of jaemin stared back at him, his pink hair a fluffy mess on the top of his head, the lollipop almost falling from his lips as his eyes widened.

chenle could barely breathe as his own wide eyes flashed to jisung in a panic. jaemin's face  fell. 

"aish! jisung, really?"

the older whipped around to the younger, who looked so done at this point. and, as if he realized something, he turned back to chenle as he spoke. 

"wait, holy shit he looks fuckin' beat..."

and chenle's vision was soon being blocked by jaemin's whole ass face in front of his own.

"mark did this, didn't he? you took the fucking back alley?!" the pink-haired boy exclaimed back at jisung again, who rubbed a hand over his face.

wait... jaemin wasn't mad by the fact that chenle was even here in the first place? after what happened yesterday?

"the streets were crowded! there would have been more of a chance of something bad happening. i was stupid to think mark wouldn't be there-"

"damn right you were. never assume he's not there because he always is. poor kid..."

chenle was shocked when jaemin began softly running his fingers through his messy, blond hair.

"hey, hands off."

jisung slapped jaemin's arm who yelped.

"YOU LITTLE SHIT-"

"will you stop yelling? we don't need jeno-hyung up here too."

jaemin huffed, stepping back from chenle, who still laid there in shock of this all.

"what even happened? he looks horrible. and so do you."

chenle's eyes finally met jisung's, some relief yet some stress lying in the younger boy's eyes.

"we ran into hyuck who told us mark was out. or so he thought. we continued walking and of course, ran into satan himself. he grabbed chenle and i tried to stop him but he punched me in the face and starting beating chenle."

jisung's eyes flicked over to chenle who was listening, fully attentive. he didn’t know most of this happened since he blocked almost everything out.

"when i tried to stop him again he choked me. hyuck came during that time and wrestled mark away. i picked up chenle and ran."

chenle gulped. so that's why he saw hyuck talking to mark. he remembered that, and jisung carrying him home before he passed out.

"holy shit..." jaemin mumbled, rubbing a hand over his face.

"and you two really thought it was a good idea to meet up? jisung, i should have never let you take that note to hyuck yesterday. i feel like an irresponsible mother."

jisung just shook his head.

"this was my fault. i should have never gone that way-"

no. this wasn't their fault. chenle suddenly burst out.

"enough of this! we know who's fault this is. and it's mine. i'm the one who chose to come here in the first place. and today, too. i started this and don't try to cover up for it."

he looked up at jaemin and jisung, swallowing. jisung gave him a sad look. his throat felt dry.

"i-i should go. i don't want to cause anybody any more trouble."

"kid, you deadass can't move." jaemin huffed crossing his arms. chenle glanced over at jisung who spoke. 

"i can drive him. once he heals."

"like hell you're setting ass in a car, park jisung!"

"i have my permit!"

"doesn't mean you're a good driver!"

chenle just pressed his good hand to his face, beginning to panic. shit, he had to be home before sunset otherwise he would surely be killed. and where the fuck was his phone? he patted his pocket, not feeling the device anywhere. great. just great. hold on:

"w-what time is it...?" chenle's softer voice broke the arguing of the youngest and the oldest. 

"uh... 12:30 am." 

chenle choked on a gasp, sitting up violently, pain crippling his body in an instant. no wonder it was so dim in here. was he really passed out for that long? 

"i have to go. right now." 

he tried to get off the bed, but jisung stopped him, gently holding onto his shoulders and looking into the smaller boy's eyes. 

"you can't. it's too dangerous. and you're not in a good enough state." 

chenle's eyes began to water, frustration taking over his whole body. his fingers curled into the sheets below him. the police were surely on a search for him as of now. and with his phone missing, he couldn't contact anybody. this wouldn't end well. and he knew it. 

chenle just wished they stopped. stop 'caring'. just leave him be and let him be lost. he would rather stay here than go back. 

"chenle." 

his own name brought him out of his trance, and he looked up at the voice. his eyes stopped, locking with the blue-haired boy's. his shoulders slowly slumped, and his body washed over with a wave of something he couldn't describe. 

something in the younger's gaze relaxed him, and the tears pooling at the edges of his eyes finally fell, one by one. but he didn't feel them. 

thats when he shivered, realizing he was sitting on the edge of jisung's bed, topless, crying, bruised up. he probably looked so pathetic. 

he wasn't brought back to real life until he felt bony fingers reaching up to softly wipe his wet cheeks. he barely felt them, they were so gentle. 

"i don't mean to interrupt- but holy shit." 

jaemin stepped up beside jisung. chenle felt dizzy, looking up at both boys who were both staring down at him, down at his stomach. 

chenle blinked, finally shifting his eyes downwards to look at himself. he felt bile burn the back of his throat at the sight.

dark, ugly black and blue bruises lined his flat stomach, and up towards his ribcage. the sight was so gruesome to chenle. he felt like he was going to throw up, or pass out. either or. 

chenle predicted correct. right as he heard the faint buzzing of what sounded like his phone from somewhere in the room, he refused to fight the dizziness anymore and closed his eyes, going down with it. 

"did he just pass out?"

"yeah."

"i'll answer his phone... who's ratjun?"


	11. [eleven.]

"you realize you're an idiot, zhong chenle? the headassery you get yourself into. absolutely outrageous. i'm gone for two weeks. two fucking weeks. this boy. i swear."

silence. 

"do you always talk to him like that...?"

"yeah, it's how i wake him up in the mornings. with love, of course. hugs are included. now- zhong chenle, i know you can hear me."

chenle felt his body slowly start to wake up at the familiar voice like it was a natural reaction. there was a hand in his, a hand he's felt before. it couldn't be... renjun? was he like fucking dead, or something? 

when chenle's eyes finally opened- he was greeted with two faces. the one closest to him he could identify was none other than renjun. the face next to renjun had pink hair, jaemin. 

chenle's first immediate reaction was to reach out, grabbing renjun by the shirt. arms folded around him in the next two seconds, and he was being pulled onto the lap of his best friend. tears pricked chenle's eyes, and they soon fell as he hugged renjun tight. 

this was very much real. he was here. he was back. his best friend was here. chenle didn't care why, because he never wanted to him let go. his body was screaming in pain too, but it was silenced the relief and happiness and grief the younger was feeling for the other chinese boy. 

hands rubbed up and down chenle's back, the familiar and comforting feeling that always calmed chenle down. his face was pressed into the older's shirt, his hiccups and tears never stopping. 

"lele, what happened? what's wrong, dolphin?" 

his face was being pulled back, a gentle hand coming to cup his cheek. he would have winced, but he didn't. he couldn't. because the prominent frown on renjun's lips was enough to make chenle feel all the guilt in the world pile onto his shoulders. 

he pieced it together quickly. renjun probably flew back from china because of him, because he fucked up so badly. the maids probably called renjun, didn't they. because he was missing for long. what day was it...?

chenle swallowed shakily, leaning his face into renjun's hand, who's eyes were scanning all over chenle's fucked up face. 

"jesus christ chenle... who's ass do i need to beat...?"

chenle tried to smile, but couldn't. instead, he just broke off into more silent tears. renjun sighed with a sad smile, guiding the younger's head back down to his shoulder again. 

chenle wanted to ask why, why his other half was here. but he couldn't find his words, stupidly. and he cursed himself mentally for it. 

a kiss was pressed to his temple, and soon he was being gently guided back and laid back on the bed, his bruised legs still resting across renjun's lap. 

the boy's watery eyes flicked to jaemin who was standing a few feet from the bed, who was also trying his best to look away from the sad scene. 

embarrassed, chenle wiped the rest of his tears with his hand as he looked up at renjun. chenle couldn't read what his expression was. it was like a mix of sadness, relief, and guilt. 

god, he had so many questions. but too many emotions were swimming around in his head in order for him to ask them. 

"um... jaemin told me what happened. and the other kid with the blue hair. he ran off somewhere. but um," 

renjun ran a soft hand up chenle's shin.

"you weren't answering your phone yesterday. that's not like you, lele. i texted you over and over but you didn't reply, so i called. he picked up."

chenle's eyes wavered over to the other male who was standing there almost shyly, lollipop dangling from his fingers as he looked down at the creeky floorboards. chenle faintly remembered hearing his phone ring before he passed out. 

"they told me what happened, and i boarded the next flight back here."

chenle let out a little gasp. the flight from beijing, china to seoul, south korea was about two hours. it didn't seem that long, but the fact that renjun left his new collage to come back here? all because chenle fucked up a whole lot? made chenle feel crushingly guilty.

he finally found his words. 

"renjun... o-oh god i'm so s-sorry-"

he felt a light slap on his leg, making him whine. 

"what the fuck are you saying sorry for, dolphin? how'd you think this was gonna work, huh? of course i was going to come back-"

"not so soon over something so stupid-"

"zhong chenle, i love you to death but i will slap the shit out of you regardless of your injuries. now zip it, there was no way i wasn't coming back for this. i'm just so fucking glad you're okay. i practically cried the whole flight here, and i was texting your phone nonstop even though i knew you wouldn't reply because you were asleep." 

with renjun's threat, the smaller chinese boy shut his mouth quickly, his lips forming into a small but grateful frown. he still felt guilty no matter what, the fact that he put renjun through all of that. 

before chenle could talk though, renjun did. 

"i called the house. i told them you were okay. it took a fuck ton of convincing and assuring, but i told them you just fell asleep at a friend's place. and you were going to stay for a little. you're lucky they trust me enough.

chenle sighed gratefully, some relief lifting off of his shoulders. 

"holy shit thank you, junnie." 

renjun gave a soft smile, before carefully moving chenle's legs off of his lap to stand up. a small silence fell before chenle looked up at both boys. 

"you two have met, then?" chenle asked both jaemin and renjun.

jaemin nodded, and chenle watched the pink-haired boy's eyes quickly scan over renjun before looking away. did he just check out his best friend? wasn't he dating jeno-

the door to the bedroom suddenly swung open, and a boy with blue hair stood there. chenle's eyes locked with his, a faint smile spreading on the younger's lips that made chenle smile too. jisung. 

his savior, practically. 

"i made food. chenle, you should eat especially. renjun-hyung, you're also invited." 

that's when chenle realized the younger didn't or did he ever call him 'hyung'. and he liked it. what was a difference of two months anyways...? honorifics weren't needed. 

"wow, such a responsible young brat. he's never usually like this..." jaemin mumbled to renjun, who let out a small chuckle as jisung rolled his eyes. 

chenle let a small smile pass his lips before he became serious, focusing on getting out of this damn bed. this would be a task. chenle shifted his legs over the side of the bed, taking a small breath. 

"here."

chenle looked up, seeing none other than jisung holding a big hand out for him. he smiled gratefully, taking it. with support from the younger, chenle clenched his teeth and slowly stood up, sparks of pain shooting throughout his body. 

he luckily felt better than before, thanks to jisung's care and treatments. he'd have to really thank the younger when he could properly. and make it up to him, somehow. 

"are you okay?" 

chenle looked up, nodding under jisung's soft gaze before glancing across the room to renjun, who was watching as he slowly made his way out the door, following jaemin. his best friend gave him a little eyebrow raise. 

"yeah. i'm fine. how are your injuries?"

chenle returned his gaze to jisung, who's hand was still in his. chenle tried taking a few steps, his legs feeling sore. jisung chuckled.

"why the fuck are you worried about me? you're the cripple."

chenle tried to hold back a laugh, but it didn't work because he gave up and just burst out into high-pitched giggles. it hurt his ribs terribly, but he didn't care as he hunched over slightly, holding his bruised stomach as he cackled on. 

"what's so funny?"

"he laughs at everything. he's also very loud. and clumsy. just a warning." renjun stated simply.

all of that was very true. and chenle hadn't properly laughed in a few long weeks though. it felt good, despite the pain he physically felt. 

jisung helped him to stand straight up again as chenle tried his absolute best to stop laughing. he probably looked insane, but he didn't care. 

he wiped his eyes, taking a shaky breath as jisung just watched him, not exactly in a hurry to get downstairs. 

"how long was i asleep?" chenle asked, starting to shuffle towards the door, the younger never leaving his side incase he fell. 

"a day."

"A WHOLE DAY?!"

"yeah. you blacked out completely." jisung mumbled, opening the bedroom door so chenle could walk through. 

before he did though, he took jisung's arm and looked up into the younger's eyes. 

"thank you. seriously. for everything, and for giving me a chance."

before he knew it, chenle was wrapping his small arms around jisung's neck in a hug. he didn't know what else to do in the moment. but it felt right so he did it. 

"i'll make it up soon somehow, i promise. you've done so much for me." 

he didn't expect jisung to return the gesture, but he did, to chenle's surprise. when he felt long arms gently wrap around his torso, chenle couldn't help but smile. 

"you don't have to make up anything to me. there's just something... different about you. and i wanna figure it out." jisung mumbled

chenle felt his face warm as he pulled back, looking up at jisung. 

"you really think i'm worth it?"

jisung smiled. 

"i do. i really do."


	12. [twelve.]

"so, basically, chenle's parents had to fly all the way back from chile. because we got fucking ARRESTED and needed his parents to come bail us out. all because we got caught drinking. it was a wild night, right lele?"

chenle's face burned with embarrassment as he half-glared at his best friend, jaemin and jisung cackling with laughter.

"and whose idea was it again, ratjun?"

"yours, dolphin!"

"huang renjun! it was not! you're the one who SNUCK US INTO THE BAR AND SEDUCED THE BARTENDER INTO GIVING US ALCOHOL YOU DUMBASS!"

renjun began cackling as well, hitting the table lightly with his hand.

"oh, right. well, you still agreed."

chenle just rolled his eyes dramatically, glancing over at jisung who was laughing quite adorably while gripping the table. whereas jaemin was gripping renjun's arm, the two of them in their own little word of cackles and half-wheezes.

it had not been an hour into eating the delicious noodles jisung kindly made that the four boys were already sharing stories, and getting along surprisingly easily.

that, or it was the wine that jaemin insisted on including with this little dinner.

"chenle, your parents travel a lot then?" jaemin suddenly asked once he had calmed himself down, taking a small sip of wine.

the chinese boy's eyes flicked down quickly before looking back up. a lot was an understatement. 

"yeah um... they're never really home, actually..."

chenle nervously looked across the table to renjun who gave him an assuring look.

"there's maids that stay back at home to take 'care' of me, but other than that there's no one else. just me." chenle mumbled, shrugging.

jaemin gave him a small frown.

"so... you're pretty much alone. and renjun, you said you're going to college in beijing, right?"

renjun only nodded, his eyes still on his best friend.

"yeah, that can get lonely. i get why you came here, then." jaemin mumbled.

chenle gave a small smile. another person that kind of understood. jaemin suddenly huffed, rubbing his eyes.

"fuck, i'm so sorry we were such assholes to you. i was a dick, jeno was a dick. mark just is a dick, a big one. i misunderstood and i hope you can forgive me."

chenle was a little taken back at the sudden apology, so he just sat there, not knowing how to react. jaemin continued speaking, his voice sad.

"around here, there's not much of anything. i'm sure you know this or maybe not, but your folks and everyone who lives up there in the big fancy houses used to parade through our streets. spitting on us, yelling slurs, hurting us even. i got shot at one night with a paintball gun. still have the scars on my back. jeno and i used to own a small shop downtown. a whole pack of kids saw us holding hands one day and spray-painted the word 'fag' on the windows."

jaemin nodded over to jisung.

"kid got pushed around every day. i didn't let him outside for a month because it got so bad. he fought back though, jisung is a fucking animal if you mess with him. but when it comes to numbers, it was him against like seven kids that were all older and stronger than him. he'd come home with bruises every day. they all found it fun to make their rounds down here and harass us. every single fucking day. the police didn't get involved because, hey, who are they gonna believe. us, or the kids with rich parents?"

chenle looked down in shame, swallowing. his throat became dry, but he couldn't reach out for his drink. this was all real? was it really this bad?

jaemin shifted in his seat, and chenle took notice on how renjun's eyes never left the sullen expression on jaemin's face. chenle's face also fell, and his own heart began to break as the boy continued.

"mark got us all together one night, the night after some kid had beat the living shit out of hyuck. it was me, jisung, jeno, hyuck, a few others- and we decided we've had enough. the next morning when the clan of rich kids were walking the streets being loud and rude, we attacked them. yeah, revenge felt pretty fucking nice, but mark wouldn't stop beating the kid that beat up hyuck and..."

jaemin covered his face with his hands, taking a shaky breath. chenle watched, glancing over at jisung who was staring down into his lap, his lips sealed. there was no way...

"it... i can't tell you the rest. but long story short, the rest of them ran. and never, ever came back here again. not for two years now."

chenle's eyes were now staring at the table, and he couldn't look up. he felt like shit. there was a strange, horrible, guilty, upset feeling in his gut that made his stomach hurt. he despised his neighbors. he despised his family. more than anything, he despised himself for not knowing any of this. it was so wrong what his own parents did. what his own neighbors did. how they treated these people.

"so... not that it makes it right, but i hope you understand why we acted the way we did towards you. it doesn't make it okay that mark beat you up, but there was a dark reason behind it. there's an abuse story that went on for years, ever since then he's never been the same. none of us have."

chenle just nodded, his eyes still glued to the table. he couldn't even look up at renjun who probably felt similar to how he felt. words left chenle's lips before he could even properly think of what to say.

"i'm sorry... i'm really, really sorry..." he whispered out, finally looking up into jaemin's now-soft eyes.

chenle saw the pain in them. now he saw everything. chenle looked over at jisung who's eyes were still glued to the floor.

"i'm sorry..." he whispered out to the younger.

without thinking, chenle grabbed the younger's hand resting in his lap. he couldn't think of any other way to possibly express how horrible he felt.

"the... the pain that this caused you. it's not right, it's not right at all. you didn't deserve to go through that... a-and i can't even express the disgust i feel towards... e-everybody... i-i can't believe..."

chenle couldn't talk. he just couldn't. silence fell over the room, and he let jisung's hand go once he realized he was still holding it. 

"so you finally get it, huh?"

chenle jumped slightly at the new voice, turning around quickly to see none other than jeno.

jeno's eyes were slightly narrowed, his black hair tossed against his forehead as he slowly made his way towards the table, jaemin slowly inching away from renjun at the sight of his boyfriend. the pink-haired boy then stood up, walking over to jeno and shortly kissing his lips.

chenle almost forgot they were a couple for a second.

"babe, this is renjun, chenle's good friend from china. and you know chenle. they both mean well, they did nothing wrong."

chenle glanced back down before back up at renjun who had his eyes on the couple, giving a small smile and a wave.

"renjun, this is jeno."

"his boyfriend." jeno stated firmly.

"... yes, my boyfriend."

jaemin lightly pinched jeno's arm, the youngest of the group suppressing a laugh.

"jeno is very protective. don't get intimidated, he's not as scary as he seems." jisung explained casually, mostly to renjun.

"park jisung, would you like to get your ass whopped? because i'll kick you into next week."

"if you can reach me."

chenle almost choked on a laugh that dared come up as he pressed a hand to his mouth.

"aish you too, stop fighting. we have guests. or i'll beat both of your asses later." jaemin snapped.

chenle smiled slightly. they were like a family, it was really sweet. he took another small sip of the wine as jaemin pulled jeno over to the table.

"sit down with us."

"can't. i have to go out."

"where?"

"the store."

"c'mon. stay for a little. please, babe?"

chenle watched as jeno sighed, and slowly wrapped his arms around the smaller who melted into the embrace.

he dropped his gaze from the couple, glancing over at his best friend who was trying his hardest to look away as well. chenle caught his gaze, tilting his head just as jeno slipped into the chair next to renjun, jaemin happily perching himself on his lap.

"gross. can we be excused?" jisung asked, already standing up and nodding towards chenle as if the younger had read his mind. 

and he had. jaemin sighed.

"yes, but hey! no going outside. it's not safe and chenles hurt-"

"i know, i know."

chenle arose slowly from his seat, wincing slightly as he glanced over at renjun.

"will you be okay?" chenle mouthed to him.

renjun nodded with a small smile, waving him on. 

"don't let him corrupt you." chenle joked to jaemin and jeno, to which jaemin laughed, placing a new lollipop between his lips.

"it will probably be the other way around." the pink-haired boy giggled.

renjun sent a wink to chenle who stuck his tongue out, grinning before limping over to jisung who was waiting by a door in the back of the small apartment.

"c'mere. i wanna show you this."


	13. [thirteen.]

"close your eyes."

"what...?"

"close your eyes. just do it."

"park jisung-"

"just do it!"

chenle huffed, giving a small pout before closing his eyes like he was told. 

"no peeking."

"i'm not, dumby."

chenle heard jisung's deep laugh and the sound of the door opening before he felt the younger take his hand. a cool breeze passed through, feeling nice against his skin and ruffling chenle's hair.

"trust me, okay?" jisung's soft voice spoke to him.

chenle gulped, nodding as he was slowly guided forward. this reminded him of the alley when he couldn't see. when he had to trust jisung the entire time.

suddenly, he stepped on something that made a worrisome creaking noise.

"jisung-ah, are you taking me to die?"

the younger just laughed.

"no. just trust me."

they were obviously outside, and chenle really wanted to open his eyes, but he didn't. the breeze felt nice on his bruised skin, and he felt like he could breathe much better than before.

"we're going up a short set of stairs."

"JISUNG!"

"it will be okay, take a step now. don't open your eyes."

chenle felt his adrenaline start to run as he followed the younger's directions, taking a step up onto what was probably a stair. a really weak stair.

"park jisung i swear to god..."

"you really like saying my name, don't you? step now."

chenle just scoffed, taking another step.

"i swear, when we get to where ever we're going i'm gonna to slap you."

"mmhm, step. and again. step."

this slow system continued for another minute or so, and chenle still hadn't opened his eyes, even though he could. he somehow liked this. the warm hand in his. the cool air on his face. as much as he wanted to see where they were and as nervous as he was, he couldn't bring himself to open his eyes. not yet.

jisung suddenly let his hand go, and chenle panicked slightly. 

"it's okay, one second. don't open them yet."

chenle let out a breath, his waiting hands reaching out for nothing. he was scared. he felt unbalanced. he felt cold.

till finally, two warm hands were slipping into his this time, pulling him up one last bigger step.

"okay. now sit down slowly. i'll help you."

chenle bit his lip as two hands held his waist, his hands moving back to touch something metal to help himself down. he slowly sat on a cool surface, the hands helping him stay steady. it was nighttime, and they were outside. that was all chenle could decipher with his eyes closed.

"okay... take a deep breath."

chenle did.

"now, open your eyes."

chenle squeezed his eyes shut one last time before finally opening them. his breath caught in his throat.

they were on a roof, the highest roof overlooking the entire town that was filled with dimmed light and very little noise. the all-dark sky was like a black canvas with white little stars scattered everywhere around the glowing white moon that sat high in the sky right in front of them.

it was breathtakingly gorgeous. better than sitting on his roof at home, somehow. definitely.

"wow, jisung..." was all chenle could say, his eyes tearing away from the view for just a second to glance over at the other boy.

though it was dark, chenle could still make out his features, and that bright blue hair. and for a second, he couldn't stop staring, not till the younger looked back at him.

"you like it? i come up here to clear my head. it's kind of like... you're bigger than everything. everything below you is smaller. the houses, the people..."

a small smile spread on chenle's lips.

"it's just you and the stars... right?" the chinese boy asked, looking back out at the night sky.

"exactly."

a comfortable silence fell, and chenle glanced down at their feet dangling over the edge of the building, the small balcony and stairs they climbed up on resting a few yards below them.

"i'm really sorry, you know." chenle mumbled softly, watching his feet swing back and forth.

"about what they did to you. about what you went through. it's not right..." he continued.

chenle glanced over again at jisung, who was gazing downwards as well.

"it's okay, it's not your fault. i was used to it."

"it's not okay though. why were you used to it? did something else happen-"

"well what are we going to do about it now? huh? drop it, please.” 

jisung was now looking up at chenle, his eyes slightly narrowed through his blue bangs before looking back out at the sky. chenle took a breath. he wasn't done yet.

"they hurt you."

"i'm fine now."

"it's not okay though."

"and what, chenle! please tell me what the fuck we can do about it now? the only thing we can do is try and forget. you may not understand that, but it's all we can afford to do."

chenle sat there, his bottom lip between his teeth. did jisung really just pull that card? he wouldn't look up from his feet as a heavy silence fell over them and the city.

"chenle, i'm sorry i-"

cutting off the younger's words, chenle looked up sharply. with no particular emotion lining his features, he reached out. for nothing really, just to calmly cup jisung's face who flinched at first.

and they just looked at each other, chenle's eyes never leaving jisung's.

"let me care for you." was all that left chenle's lips.

the younger had done so much for him, and he does so much for everybody else, chenle can tell. and he was so young, going through all of this. as old as chenle, which was young. he deserved more than anything to be cared for. chenle had a feeling jisung's whole life has played out like this, where he's been neglected of proper care. he could be wrong, but chenle had a feeling he wasn't.

"i don't fucking need to be taken care of." jisung said, more as a matter of factly. 

chenle didn't expect such an attitude to come from him. as much as it shocked him, it also made him upset. though, jisung wasn't pulling away from chenle's soft hold. 

"everyone needs to be taken care of sometimes."

"well, i don't."

"wanna bet?"

chenle let go of jisung's face, the smallest smile adorning his lips. he then leaned back against the roof, not minding the coolness of the metal through his shirt. jisung just watched him with a confused look, before chenle was guiding him down as well, pulling him close enough so jisung could lay his head right in the small crook of chenle's shoulder on his collarbone. 

before jisung could even protest or so much as speak, small fingers were soon carding through his hair, such a simple and soft thing. it took a few moments, but when he felt jisung finally start to relax into the smaller boy holding him like that, chenle couldn't help but smile. 

no words were said or needed to be said, and silence hung in the air. that moment seemed infinite. 

and, jisung’s hair was softer than chenle imagined before.


	14. [fourteen.]

"this reminds me of my mother." 

chenle blinked hazily, his eyes that were once on the stars now looking down at his fingers still carefully running through jisung's soft, blue hair. 

it had been ten minutes the two were laying like this on the roof in a nice silence. but this comment from jisung prodded at chenle's mind. he didn't know much about jisung's childhood. or his parents. 

"really? how so?" chenle asked softly, trying not to be too nosy. 

jisung sighed, silence once again falling before he spoke. 

"when i was younger, she used to play with my hair to calm me down. it always worked."

chenle smiled slightly, his fingers stopping their motion for a few seconds to gently push the bangs out of the younger's eyes. 

"she took her life when i was five and left a note telling me she was sorry. and that was the only thing i could remember about her." the younger said at last, like the secret had finally come out. 

chenle's heart shattered, and his fingers stopped moving completely as his face fell. jisung was his age, and an orphan? living in this condition, having gone through so much hell. chenle felt guilt and empathy course through him as the younger suddenly sat up from behind curled up with chenle. 

"i'm sorry..." jisung mumbled, rubbing a hand over his face. 

chenle sat up as well, tugging at the younger's sleeve. why did jisung always do this? why did he open up, and then push away? 

"why?" chenle questioned, trying to get jisung to look at him again.

jisung shrugged chenle off, or tried. 

"don't try and understand. i don't need your pity either. it's best if you go back to your house with renjun and forget about this. 

chenle was so close to letting out a shout of frustration, his grip tightening on the other's shirt.

"why? why won't you let me in? after all you did for me, you won’t let me care for you back?” 

jisung grabbed his wrist and chenle winced, making the younger pull back quickly in regret. but chenle wasn't giving up. 

"jisung. please look-"

"i'm sorry, this was a mistake."

"jisung-"

"go back down, and leave." jisung huffed, trying to nudge chenle back towards the landing. 

chenle wouldn't budge though. instead, he cupped jisung's face. right then, he could feel the wetness on the younger's cheeks, and more coming on top of that.

"god, chenle. please. why don't you just fucking leave like all of them do?!” 

chenle couldn't think of anything else, and his face was so close to jisung's. the wind around them stilled, and the chinese boy took that time to lean in, pressing his lips to jisung's before he could stop himself. 

for a moment, every mistake, every heartbreak, every ounce of pain in chenle's life seemed to dissolve and become insignificant for those couple seconds. because when he felt jisung melt in his hands ever so slightly, his brain didn't know what else to possibly focus on. 

though, he wondered quickly if this was a mistake because he didn't feel jisung's lips move at all against his own. but he didn't feel jisung push him away, either. 

so, right on that roof in the dark night with the stars, the two broken boys sat there, lips connected in the most softest, desperate, sweetest way. 

chenle pulled back first, and he felt every bone in his body pinch with nervousness, his heart beating faster than it ever has before. his eyes opened to focus on jisung's still closed ones, and reality seemed to catch up with him.

"i'm staying right here..." was the whisper that left chenle's lips.

those words flowed so naturally, and chenle wasn't really sure where they came from, but that didn't make them any less true. 

and when jisung opened his eyes, chenle saw the tears. 

"good." 

chenle's eyes widened a bit, but his thoughts and nerves were immediately put to rest when jisung's lips were on his once again, this time on the other's accord. 

this kiss was different, because both pairs of lips were working together this time with each other. chenle reveled in the softness of the other's plump lips against his own and the hand that came up to cup his jaw. 

air seemed unimportant to the current situation, and chenle for a few long moments forgot how to breathe. breathing was on the last on his to-do list because he felt if he would pull back, his world would break around him and he would be reminded of reality. 

though as unfortunate as it may be, all good things must come to an end. chenle took a breath once they pulled apart, the cool air filling his lungs once again as his eyes struggled to focus on the boy's face in front of his own. a warmth came to chenle's face once he realized what had just happened.

he just kissed a boy. he kissed jisung. he kissed a boy who gave him a chance, even if he got the absolute shit beaten out of him. this boy took care of him. this boy made chenle feel for him, and want to know more about him. 

"we... we should head back down," jisung whispered, his hand slowly sliding down from cupping chenle's jaw.

chenle nodded softly in agreement, snapping himself out of his daze. 

"y-yeah."

within the next second, chenle was standing up with the help of jisung's hands on his torso. he shuffled to the edge, looking down at the landing a few yards below. 

"here, i'll go first. you're injured." jisung's low voice came behind him, slowly turning chenle so he could fit in front of him.

the warm hands on chenle's waist were soon gone as jisung slid to the landing below, turning around and gazing back up at the boy. with his blue hair a pretty mess from the wind even visible through the dark, and his arms reaching upwards. chenle wondered how he got himself into this moment. he just fucking kissed this boy for godsakes. 

"sit down at the edge and i'll catch you."

he didn’t know what it was, or what was in the air the exact time he breathed in. 

but chenle tried his absolute best to control himself at first. though he couldn't help but break into a stupid smile and some giggles, still following jisung's instructions who broke into a half-smirk.

"any reason to why you're laughing at me, zhong chenle?"

chenle laughed a bit harder, jisung coming to the landing right below the boy with a tilted head. chenle grinned, nudging jisung's shoulder with his foot. 

"nothing... now hurry it's chilly."

jisung rolled his eyes playfully as he reached up as far as he could, making chenle laugh again.

"okay. jump down on one, two, th-"

chenle, in a fit of laughter, jumped too early, still landing perfectly in jisung's arms who stumbled, his own arms wrapped around the younger's shoulders. chenle's face buried in his neck as he laughed loudly, the dolphin coming out of him once again.

"CHENLE! we could have fucking fallen off!"

and the younger held him like that, in a full hug-like embrace, the smaller's feet barely touching the ground as he laughed like he had just heard the funniest thing in the world.

"s-sorry... sorry." chenle breathed out, pulling back to look at jisung in the eyes. 

"that was just really funny."

"uh huh, sure dolphin."

chenle rolled his eyes playfully with a grin, his feet finding the ground even though his arms were still wrapped around jisung's shoulders tightly. the two stared for a couple more seconds before chenle shivered slightly.

"c'mon. let's head back down."

jisung hummed and nodded, smirking. 

"sorry, i was distracted by the ugly bruise on your face."

chenle gasped dramatically, jisung letting him go and taking his hand to carefully start down the stairs again, laughing teasingly.

"you are so rude! gosh! you know, maybe i shouldn't have kissed you."

"you're gonna pull that card, huh?"

"yeah, yeah i am park jisung."

the sarcasm in the conversation was at record levels, leaving the younger snickering till they reached the small balcony and door once again. chenle was swift to grab jisung’s shirt before they could head back inside, however.

"come to my house. all of you. jaemin and jeno too." he blurted before he could stop himself, his eyes locking with the younger's.

jisung tilted his head, biting his lip. those fucking lips. but this was the first time jisung was completely silent. 

"i'll see. i... have to talk with jaemin and jeno about it-"

chenle pulled the other closer suddenly, his eyes practically begging at this point. jisung sighed.

"i promise, i'll see."

chenle gave a small smile. 

the night air was growing colder, though both boys felt some warmth as they gazed into each other's eyes, chenle's hands still gripping jisung's shirt. 

there was another small peck on the lips, but chenle was so spaced out he couldn't remember if he leaned in, or if jisung did. he wasn't even sure if it happened or not. 

"alright, let's go in now." 

"you've been saying that for the past 10 minutes, dolphin."


	15. [fifteen.]

five minutes later, the two were sneaking back in the door to which they left, a warmer apartment greeting them. chenle couldn't say it was quiet though, much like his home would be. instead it was full of chatter. loud chatter.

"one time back in high school, this one popular girl was an asshole to chenle. so when she hosted this huge ass party at her house while her parents were out of town, while everybody was getting wasted, i went around putting tuna in all the curtain rods. weeks later when her parents came home, they couldn't figure out why the house smelled like rotting death. they ended up moving because of it. they never found out."

loud laughs erupted. 

"are you fucking kidding!? holy shit, that's crazy! junnie, you're such a fucking badass."

chenle raised his eyebrows, looking up at jisung who had the same reaction. they crept closer to listen from around the corner, holding in their laughs. did jaemin really just call renjun 'junnie'? 

"ever been in a relationship, renjun?" they heard jeno ask, his tone lighthearted and friendly this time instead of cold and harsh. 

chenle quickly grabbed jisung's hand, pulling the younger back and preventing him from moving forward anymore. he wanted to hear this.

"nah, never wanted to commit. i've had a few things with some people but never something serious. chenle being my best friend is enough for me, i don't need another person in my life to love. i wouldn't do that to him." 

chenle looked down at his feet, his lips falling into a small frown. as touched as he was, he felt like he was holding renjun back from being in a relationship, or doing much of anything. just moving to china for college was hard for him. because of chenle. 

"did you ever... try? because you can't just not like somebody, you've had to have a few experiences." 

"nana, that's too personal." 

"no, no. it's okay. uh- yeah. one time in high school sophomore year i really liked this guy. he was a senior. we fooled around a few times, but he was the sweetest boy, i promise you. he was so kind, and treated me very well. we went on a few dates.” 

renjun sighed. 

"i never told chenle. i didn't want him to think i was going to leave him. chenle and i have been each other's everything since first grade. we were the only two chinese kids in the whole school. and i couldn't just make this guy my boyfriend, not after i swore to be by chenle's side and protect him. but the guy ended up graduating and moving away to college. that's when i broke it off. it wasn't a big deal."

silence filled the air, and chenle was leaning against the wall now, biting his lip with his eyes focused on the floorboards. 

"that's rough, renjun. i'm sorry. it's really sweet that you're so loyal to chenle though. you're a really good friend." 

"what about you guys? how'd you two meet?"  renjun changed the subject quickly. 

chenle felt jisung grab his hand again, gently tugging him towards the stairs. jaemin chuckled.

"we met about three years ago when we were younger. it was actually on accident. jeno used to be closer with mark before i met him, and i walked down the wrong alley at the wrong time one day. while mark was threatening to beat my ass, jeno stepped up and escorted me out kindly. like a gentleman.” 

jaemin gave a teasing smile to his boyfriend.

"he told me not to come back, but did i listen? of course not! i mean, look at him. he's fucking attractive as hell and he was so sweet. how could i stay away? i came back the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and it just went on from there. he gave in and he liked me too. we had our first kiss in that alley. and we literally fucked next to the-"

"okay nana yes, we get it." jeno cut in with a smirk, getting a giggle from jaemin who continued on. 

"mark wasn't the happiest, but i was around jeno so much that he just grew used to me. that big grump. he kind of understood because he was with hyuck, and god knows how much he cares for that boy. but now i'm still with jeno, my big puppy." jaemin kindly finished, kissing his boyfriend sweetly on the cheek. 

"that's cute. i would have never guessed." renjun said, and chenle could tell he was smiling. 

chenle just stood there, both fascinated and informed while jisung just fake gagged. chenle did it in return to mock the other boy, who let out a laugh before quickly covering his mouth. 

"OI! chicks, what are you doing? where are you?" jaemin suddenly called, having heard the jisung's laugh. 

both boy's froze, giving each other suppressing-laughter looks. they walked around the corner to the table where the three were still sitting, the chairs closer together than before. 

chenle looked up at his best friend, exchanging small smirks. 

"where were you two? upstairs? we didn't hear you at all." 

"yeah. we were upstairs." jisung straight up lied, and it took chenle so much to not start laughing. 

jaemin's face suddenly turned into a pained expression. 

"i don't want you to scold me, because as your figure of authority i have a right to ask.”

chenle and jisung blinked.

“are you two having sex?" 

chenle's eyes widened as he looked over at jisung, words trying to fit past his lips. chenle caught renjun's gaze who gave him a 'you better tell me about this later' look. he just shook his head. 

"even if they were they wouldn't tell us, nana." jeno shrugged. 

"we're not having sex!” jisung finally exclaimed. 

"yeah, not yet." jeno snorted.

chenle just covered his face, trying to hide the redness in his cheeks. 

“alright, alright. it was just a question, i don’t care if you are, as long as you two are being safe. i wasn’t sure if you two were a thing or not.” jaemin said defensively.

chenle uncovered his face, getting a stupid smirk from renjun. 

“are you?” his best friend mouthed.

“NO!” chenle mouthed back. 

“i remember when i first had sex-“

“NO, NANA!” jisung and jeno shouted in unison.

chenle suppressed a laugh. 

he really liked these people. 

he glanced over at jisung, who was standing there shaking his head at jaemin. when the blue-haired boy noticed chenle looking at him, he returned the gaze, that cute half smile coming to his lips. 

and he really, really liked jisung.


	16. [sixteen.]

"can you guys stay the night? please?" the pink-haired boy was already begging, sprawled out on his boyfriend's lap. 

jaemin was on his fourth glass of wine, renjun was on his second, and chenle and jisung only had a few sips at dinner. jeno didn't drink at all unless "it was hard liquor straight from a cold ass glass", direct quote. 

"i don't know, i wouldn't want to impose on you guys. we have to head back soon anyway, that's what i told the maids..." renjun said slowly. 

"junnie, please? i promise we have enough room. the kiddos can sleep in jisung's bed, there's a small bedroom down the hall for you, and jeno and i can sleep on the pullout couch. see? easy." 

jaemin stumbled out of jeno's arms, crawling over to renjun like he was some beggar on the streets. the boy grabbed renjun's arm, holding it tight to his chest. jaemin was literally teary-eyed. he was also tipsy. 

"it's already so late and you can't go home at this time, it's too dangerous. just wait till the morning, i don't want you guys to get hurt. we already love you and you're so fun to be around and i feel like we have this... connection, you know? plus chenle and jisung really like each other. so please stay? the night, at least?" 

renjun's eyes widened at the whole dramatic scene that just played out as he glanced at jeno who just rolled his eyes at his whining boyfriend. 

"does he always do this?" renjun joked.

jeno let out chuckle as jaemin slowly let renjun's arm go and sat back on his heels like a kicked puppy.

"everyday. i tell myself every time i'm going to say no, but it's like talking to a brick wall. he doesn't listen and he just talks and talks and talks..." jeno teased, getting a pout from his boyfriend. 

"yeah, because i like getting what i want. now will you and chenle stay, renjun?"

there was a pause, and a sigh. 

"let me talk to chenle." 

in the next room however, the two youngest were sitting on the couch, chenle's head in jisung's lap. after much debate.

"okay, okay my turn. i spy... something blue!" 

"hm, blue. is it... your hair?"

"wow, how'd you guess?"

"because you're a fucking idiot!" chenle cackled, lifting his head to softly head-butt the other boy.

"how can you even see through those bangs?" chenle questioned, his forehead pressed square to jisung's with narrowed eyes. 

the younger just widened his eyes, trying to look through the thin blue strands of hair that hung over his eyes. 

"i can see you perfectly fine though." 

"not the point. you look like an emo baby." chenle pouted mockingly, laughing as the younger nudged him. 

"you're the emo, baby." jisung smirked, catching chenle off guard at the use of the word. 

the chinese boy's feelings were all over the place for this kid at the moment. he felt like he could do anything and he would still end up either laughing, or flustered. or both. but nonetheless, he was enjoying every single moment with jisung. 

"i'm not a baby!"

"but you are baby." 

"no, YOU are baby! you're younger!"

"you're shorter!"

"i'll still kick your ass!" 

"please. i'd like to see you try." 

chenle grew a determined look and crossed his arms, the younger suppressing his laughter at his seriousness as chenle slowly got off the couch. 

"let's go, big baby."

jisung looked him up and down.

"nah, you're injured. i don't fight the vulnerable."

chenle pouted, letting his shoulders down before holding up his fists and getting in a defensive position. 

"says who? i'm not injured! square up!" he challenged. 

jisung broke out into loud laughter.

"says mark's fist! you look so stupid!"

chenle kept up the act despite jisung's judgment, bouncing around on his heels threateningly. 

"i'm not afraid to unleash!" 

jisung just laughed harder, covering his mouth briefly before grinning and raising his eyebrows. 

"uh huh, unleash what?" 

chenle glared. 

"i'm warning you!"

jisung just smirked.

"bring it, baby." 

chenle narrowed his eyes, taking exactly three big steps back before launching himself at jisung. though, instead of the heat that was intended to rain down on his "victim", there was a change in plans. the attack ended in the smaller boy's arms around jisung's shoulders in a soft embrace.

"what is this?" jisung questioned, slowly hugging chenle back. 

"my attack." the boy said matter of factly, pulling back to give a sly smile, planting a quick kiss on the younger's cheek before he could think of what to do next. 

it was driving him crazy that just a few hours ago he kissed this same boy on the mouth like it was the most natural thing in the world. 

"lele- oh." a voice sounded.

renjun suddenly waltzed into the room, seeing the two youngest smushed together in the couch in a hug. a cute but odd sight.

"i'm assuming you wouldn't mind staying the night, then?"

chenle disconnected from jisung to much disappointment from the younger, standing up to carefully act like he was stretching.

"yeah... is it okay with them?"

"yeah, we just talked about it, it's too late to leave now. you might want to call home and make up a good excuse. maybe even threaten them or something because if they send out the police again it won't be good." renjun explained, biting his lip.

chenle tilted his head slightly. he could tell something was bothering his best friend because he wasn't making any jokes or dumb comments. and that wasn't like renjun. he turned to jisung who was sitting back on the couch, gazing up at the ceiling like a dork pretending like he wasn't listening. 

"can i talk to you, le?" renjun asked finally.

there were the words. chenle nodded, nudging jisung with his foot before walking over to renjun, dragging him a little down the hallway away from the kitchen and living room so they could talk privately. chenle looked over renjun's face, reading concern, worry, and nervousness. and renjun was rarely any of those things. his best friend tilted his head.

"how are you physically?" 

chenle sighed roughly. renjun always did this when he was nervous to say something, he always changed the subject to the other person.

"i'm fine, jun. just sore. now, what's up?"

the older gave a pained expression, making chenle frown.

"what's wrong? you can tell me. did you have too much to drink? do you want to go home-"

"no. no i didn't, and i don't." his best friend said, letting out a sigh. 

"or maybe we should go. i don't know. it's stupid, anyway." 

chenle frowned again. 

"it's not stupid, junnie. your feelings aren't stupid. what's wrong? i haven't seen anything bother you this much in-" 

"i think i have feelings for jaemin." renjun confessed suddenly, covering his face with his hands.

chenle blinked, taking a small step back. whoa, okay. he wasn't expecting that. 

"isn't he-"

"dating jeno? yeah, i know. i really know. the thing is, he's been all over me for the past couple days ever since i met him. even when jeno is around he's always being touchy me somehow but jeno doesn't seem to give two fucks. which i dunno why, i thought he was being all protective of jaemin at first. but it turns out they're both so nice and adorable and god i can't do this, chenle. i'm going to college in china i can't get attached because i'm just gonna have to leave. see, i told you it was stupid. maybe i should just launch myself into space without a fucking helmet-"

"okay, hold on. no." chenle stopped his friend from continuing his suicidal wordplay before sighing deeply.

renjun never seemed to have a crush or feelings romantically towards another human being, at least that chenle knew about. he had never talked about it with chenle all throughout the years they've known each other. but from what chenle and jisung overheard earlier, there was clearly a time when renjun had more than a sexual appeal to somebody. and it stung slightly that renjun didn't tell chenle at the time. but this was something new, and he didn't know how to handle it at first. 

"i... well for now, i would just... be careful. okay? um-"

"hey babe, we were just gonna watch a movie. wanna join...?" jaemin's voice rang from down the hall, making renjun jump. 

both best friends looked at each other with slightly wide eyes. 

"u-uh yeah. we'll be right there." renjun said. 

"okay... are you guys okay?"

chenle looked at his best friend in the eyes, who nodded.

"yeah, we're fine. we'll be right there."


	17. [seventeen.]

"do you know why i didn't hate you when you said your last name was zhong?"

chenle leaned forward slightly to look at the boy, leaning his head on his hand.

"why?"

jisung's mouth didn't form into a smile. he was serious. 

"because i knew you were different. you weren't hostile towards us, you were just lost. and you acted like such a little bitch when i was helping you with your hand."

chenle tilted his head and let out a laugh, running a hand through his own hair as he sighed. 

"wow, you really got me."

they were on jisung's bed, in jisung's room. and it was quiet at midnight, one lamp was on to pierce through the darkness that surrounded them otherwise. 

chenle was sat in front of jisung, his legs crossed, in one of jisung's t-shirts. the boy in front of him sat silently, that dorky smile he did when he makes dumb comments now resting on his lips. chenle found it absolutely stupidly adorable.

"jisung-ah." he said, looking up to meet the boy's eyes.

the younger returned the gaze instantly, the smile now slightly faded, but still there. there was a softness in his eyes that chenle found to be securing. he felt a certain way when he gazed into them. like he's known this boy for his whole life. 

and jisung was a person, just like him. a better person than he would ever be. though, he had more deep scars than bruises chenle currently had on his stomach and face. why was that fair?

so for a while, in that moment, no other words slipped passed his lips as he pondered. he didn't even know why he said the boy's name in the first place.

"chenle?"

the boy blinked when he felt a hand in his. it pulled him from his headspace. he met jisung's eyes again. 

"nothing," he said softly.

silence fell over the two, and the whole world stopped, it seemed. the hand in his pulled him close, and then closer. 

closer so their noses were touching. closer so their foreheads were against each other's. then closer so their lips were pressed together. 

and it wasn't even something to make a big deal out of. it was just something they were doing that was close, and intimate, and relieving. 

and chenle found quickly from the way his heart sped up, his nerves simmered, his mind went completely blank of every thought just to focus on this one boy- that he loved this. and he loved jisung.

the night went on like this for a few more hours, ending with chenle in the arms of the younger who held him close like that. 

and they just talked, about the simplest things. like the warm rain in the summer, and how nice it felt. how fucking annoying it was when people walked too slow. 

after a little, chenle was beginning to feel tired, and his body was falling asleep without his consent as he listened to jisung's next story. 

"and jaemin and jeno swore to me they'd never do it again- hey, are you falling asleep on me...?"

chenle just hummed, hugging the boy closer, nestling his head into the boy's neck who chuckled. 

"yes. deal with it." 

jisung just laughed softly, reaching over chenle with his free arm, shutting off the lamp next to his bed so the two boys were left together in peaceful darkness. 

"get some sleep. goodnight, chenle."

chenle opened his eyes for a second. reality set in, and he took a breath. 

"goodnight, jisung."

it took a minute more for chenle to pass off into sleep. because his mind wouldn't calm down. but the moment he felt the soft kiss on his forehead, he was out. 

-

the night carried on peacefully, though it only lasted about an hour. 

chenle felt warm, and the most comfortable he's ever been. it was a shame that someone had to ruin it. you see, the chinese boy was a light sleeper. any small noise would have him wide awake. 

so, naturally, the sound of tiny pebbles being thrown against a glass window would force the dolphin out of a sleep. he opened his eyes, staring into the darkness and waited till he heard it again, making sure it wasn't just a dream. 

he blinked, looking down at the weight on his stomach, almost smiling when he saw the faint outline of a boy's head. had jisung moved there in his sleep? 

tap. tap.

the sound had not stopped though, and it was surely coming from the window. but what the fuck could it be? scrunching his nose in annoyance, chenle knew he couldn't sleep without knowing. 

so, he carefully reached down to the sleeping beauty, and as gently as he could, lifted the younger's head and mass of blue hair. 

he almost yelled when the head moved and the body next to him shifted. 

"aish... chenle?" the lowest, sleepiest voice of one park jisung grumbled. 

chenle quickly pulled the boy back up to the pillows, cupping his half-awake, tired face. 

"sorry. go back to sleep, ji." 

the younger gave him a little, quite adorable pout, before he sleepily shrugged, collapsing back on the pillows beside chenle, curling up into the covers. he back was asleep within the next minute. 

but the tapping sure wasn't. 

once he was sure jisung was asleep, chenle sat up, mentally cursing at the cracks his bones emitted when he did so. why did he have to sound like a fucking bending glow stick every time he moved? 

slowly and carefully, making as little noise as possible, he swung his feet over the warm, squishy bed onto the cold, hard floor. 

the tapping continued. 

he made his way to the window, feeling his way through the darkness towards the glow of the moon through the crack in the curtains. he gently tore them back, squinting as he peered down into the street where the stairs led down. 

and he wasn't sure if he was just being delusional at first, but there was a boy standing at the bottom of the stairs, throwing tiny pebbles at the window. 

this was a joke, right? 

chenle squinted harder, and the boy stopped once he saw the chinese boy, waving his arms all of a sudden. 

wait a second... was that hyuck? 

his eyes widened, and he glanced back at the bed, where jisung was rolled on his side, still asleep. he debated waking him up. 

he looked back out the window, seeing hyuck was now closer, waving a hand, beckoning chenle down like it was the most normal thing ever at two in the morning. 

glancing around the windowsill, he found the lever, cracking the window slightly. 

"chenle! perfect! can... we talk...?" he heard hyuck's voice barely from all the way down on the ground. 

chenle took a step back. why the hell was hyuck here in the first place? after mark beat the shit out of chenle? mark was probably hiding down there, ready to get chenle on the ground so he could finish the job. 

so, naturally, chenle shook his head rapidly, about to close the curtains when hyuck threw up his hands. 

"wait! i won't hurt you! please... trust me? i promise i'm alone. i just want to talk about what happened." 

chenle stood there for what felt like ages, standing there at that windowsill while the entire apartment building was probably asleep. hell, he was probably dreaming. 

he glanced back at jisung once more, seeing the boy still peacefully asleep. 

jisung was right there. as scared as he was to listen to the older boy outside, hyuck did stop mark from almost killing chenle. and, he did show him kindness when they first met.

chenle chewed on his lip, staring down at hyuck, who was now begging, his hands folded.

"i promise, chenle. i'm trying to make peace. mark doesn't know i'm here." 

the chinese boy let out a puff of air, pressing his forehead to the cold window before looking back at jisung and whispering to the sleeping boy; 

"ji, i'll be right back."


	18. [eighteen.]

chenle really did think this was a bad idea. 

but, only god knows why he began climbing down those same rusty stairs that scarred him the first day he was taken to this apartment.

hyuck stood at the bottom, nervous but grateful, his hands folded in front of him as chenle slowly reached the bottom, glancing back up at the window he just climbed out of, taking a deep breath of the crisp night air. 

it was cold. 

the coldness filled his lungs as the chinese boy made eye contact with hyuck, keeping a distance as he folded his arms around himself, looking around carefully. 

"thank you, chenle. thank you for trusting me." 

hyuck took a step closer and chenle took a step the opposite way. the only light they had was the nearest street lamp that flickered every couple of seconds. that, and the glowing moon. even then, it was enough to see his closest surroundings. just in case. 

it was silent for a couple of seconds, till the other boy finally spoke. 

"i'm sorry. i'm so sorry about what mark did to you. i've been feeling so horrible about it since it happened. i know you're innocent, everybody knew. we were just... scared. mark was scared. he acted out of fear because-" 

"i know, hyuck." chenle said calmly.

"i know the story now. and, i'm sorry. you guys didn't deserve at all what happened to you." 

hyuck's face softened, his posture falling back to a slouched one as well. it made chenle wonder a few things. did he come all this way to apologize?

"thank you for understanding. i'm still so sorry."

chenle smiled slightly. 

"it's alright. i'm healing. i hope you're doing well, too."

chenle remembered what jaemin had said about mark and him. that mark would do anything for hyuck, and how they've been together for a long time. how nice hyuck was compared to him. 

hyuck smiled at the boy's words. he had such a baby face now that chenle saw him closer. 

"i am, thank you." 

chenle took a step backward, feeling a small chill go through his body. why did the night get so cold all of a sudden?

"well, thanks for coming. i better head back inside now—"

"chenle?!"

the smaller boy turned around at the call, seeing jisung's sleepy head peer out the window, his eyes soon turning wide. 

and the panic on the younger's face was enough to make chenle realize something was wrong. very wrong. 

"what are you doing? fuck, chenle get back inside right now."

click. 

chenle froze, his bones turning to stone under his skin. he gazed up at jisung still, his eyes now wide and scared. 

the world seemed to stop spinning for chenle as he slowly turned around, coming face to face with none other than mark lee yards away from him. 

hyuck was standing back behind him, a guilty, saddened expression across his face as he looked away. 

hyuck tricked him, and chenle fell for it. 

another important detail is that chenle was being held at gunpoint. mark's arm was extended, a pistol in his hand aimed right for chenle's head. 

he should have listened to his gut. he should have just stayed asleep with jisung. why couldn't he have just done that? 

"chenle, don't move."

jisung's voice was almost muffled behind him as his breathing caught momentarily in his chest, but he was not as physically panicked as he thought he would be. 

was he expecting this? 

"hey, rich kid." 

the words from mark's mouth were low and harsh. it still sent shivers down the boy's spine. 

"chenle, don't move." 

clanging down the stairs was heard seconds later, and mark moved his aim to behind chenle. 

"kid, you better stay right where you are." mark growled. 

chenle scrambled, looking behind him to where jisung was frozen, halfway down the stairs, his hands out in front of him. 

they made eye contact, and chenle gave him a pleading look. please, please, please, don't do something stupid.

"hyung," jisung said very calmly. 

this was all chenle's fault. why was he so goddamn stupid? why did he fall for this? 

"hyung, please. don't do this. he hasn't done anything. he never did anything and he never knew. he's not who you think he is."

"he's the zhong's kid."

"but he's not like them."

mark scoffed.

"do you know how long i've waited?" 

chenle's hands were shaking as he kept his eyes on jisung, who was slowly creeping closer under mark's watch, who's gun followed jisung's movements. 

"hyung, you need to let this go. it's been two years. look at you."

"you're ungrateful. to everybody. you all betrayed hyuck and i by doing this." mark spat, ignoring jisung's comment. 

jisung shook his head softly, keeping a careful pace as he finally reached the ground. 

"hyung, we have to forgive. there's not much else we can do. yeah, it hurts. it really fucking hurts, but that was in the past. and we can't change it. we can't solve everything with violence—"

mark aimed the pistol at the sky with one swift movement, firing the gun, the deafening sound rippling through the night as chenle fell to his knees in surprise. mark was beyond anything chenle has ever seen. 

"are you seriously forgetting what they did to us?! what they did to you? to jaemin and jeno?" 

mark took steps closer, and chenle scrambled back till he hit someone's legs. jisung's legs. the boy stepped in front of him.

"have you forgotten who they killed?" mark snapped.

chenle's eyes widened. killed?

"did you forget about that night? the night he came to protect us and got killed on the way?"

there was silence, and chenle took the time to stand up behind jisung. 

"i haven't forgotten. i will never forget about him, hyung. but i can't live without letting it go. i physically can't go on if i don't try to focus on other things."

jisung took chenle's hand tight in his own, lacing their fingers and giving it a squeeze. 

"johnny didn't die for this." mark scoffed, now aiming the pistol at both of them.

johnny. who was johnny? before chenle could finish the thought however, another voice joined in. and chenle had never felt more relief in this whole life.

"yeah? well, johnny didn't die for you to be pointing a gun at our kids, either." 

chenle and jisung turned their heads to the side where the voice came from, seeing none other than jaemin and jeno in front of the apartment building, as if on cue. anxiety and relief spread through chenle's body. his only question was about his best friend.

jaemin approached mark first who laughed loudly, almost manically.

"are you fucking kidding me? holy shit." he snorted, the gun still aimed at the two youngest.

jaemin was in no way amused.

"johnny would have wanted peace and forgiveness. and you know that. now, put down the gun, mark." jaemin said, his voice serious and low, something that chenle hasn't heard before. 

he sounded like a completely different person. mark just scoffed again. 

"you really think i'm gonna listen to you?" he growled, his eyes flickering to jeno.

"you're fucking kidding, right, jeno? don't tell me you agree with him."

chenle's eyes watched jeno who was a statue, a focused look on his face. chenle held his breath, not knowing what the boy would do. mark eyed him, before his face fell in disbelief. because jeno wasn't saying anything, and he wasn't moving. he was standing his ground.

"no fucking way. they turned you soft, huh." mark spat.

jeno cleared his throat.

"we can't live like this, mark. you know that. we need to start forgiving." he said calmly, meaning behind every single one of his words.

there was a silence, and mark just shook his head, shooting a glare at jaemin and jeno.

"now mark," said jeno.

"put down the gun, and walk away. it's that simple."

while this was all unfolding, jisung and chenle were slowly sinking back into the shadows behind the stairs, hand in hand. 

"chenle, look at me. now." 

chenle was shaking, teary eyed. this was all his fault. both hands took his and he was suddenly forced to look jisung in the eyes, where he calmed down slightly. 

"i need you to run, that way. and keep running." 

chenle's watery eyes widened. 

"jisung, no. hell no, i'm not leaving you guys here." 

the younger squeezed his hands. 

"chenle, please. you're the only one he wants to kill. i can't risk this."

the boy's voice became softer.

"i can't lose you." 

chenle let out a shaky breath, grabbing jisung's face who leaned in, catching his lips with chenle's. 

"jisung." chenle breathed when they parted. 

the boy looked at him. 

"i love you." 

jisung's face softened, and in that moment it was just them. no mark, no jaemin, no jeno, no hyuck. 

"i love you t-"

the younger's words were cut off by one, then two gun shots ripping through the silence, a deafeningly horrifying sound. 

jisung took off in that direction a second after, chenle right on his heels. 

chenle's breathing stopped at the sight, and a blanket of silence fell over the night as if there wasn't just a loud noise. 

there was a body on the ground. 

though, it wasn't jeno. or jaemin. or mark. 

"hyuck...? oh, baby." 

mark dropped his gun fell to his knees next to what chenle realized was now hyuck. jisung was frozen in his spot, chenle right at his back. 

and the world was completely, absolutely silent. 

jisung took chenle's hand in his own, slowly walking over to jaemin, and what they realized was a terrified but completely expressionless jeno in front of a dropped gun. 

chenle swallowed thickly, his wide eyes not leaving hyuck's body where he was bleeding from the side of the head. 

a bullet. 

and, hyuck wasn't moving. 

"hyung... what happened?" 

jaemin turned to them, tears visible on his cheeks as the once-silent night was filled with the cries of a devastated mark lee.

"i-i... m-mark was aiming the gun at me. jeno pulled his own and aimed it at hyuck saying he'd shoot hyuck if he shot me..." jaemin cut himself off to take a shaky breath. 

chenle could tell he was holding back more tears.

"mark fired at me but hyuck pushed his arm so the bullet missed me. jeno thought it hit me so... he s-shot hyuck. god, it happened s-so quickly." 

chenle's lips parted in surprise, and he was soon being embraced by jisung, where he buried his face in the other's shoulder.

"DONGHYUCK!" 

chenle did his best to hold back his own tears at mark's yell. the boy just lost the love of his life. even if he came here to hurt and kill chenle, the smaller couldn't help but feel every ounce of empathy and sorrow in the world for him.

he was being rushed away soon, jisung tugging him back into the apartment building to shelter. though, chenle looked back quickly, seeing jaemin standing over my mark, kicking mark's gun away for safe measure. jeno remained in the same spot, now crouched down, his head in his hands. 

no, wait. 

chenle tore away from jisung, instead rushing back outside, slowly approaching where jaemin was standing in front of mark and his departed lover. 

the sight was the worst thing he's ever seen before. 

mark held hyuck's lifeless body, a bullet wound pierced through the side of his head, his eyes closed and face peacefully at rest, not left in a horrified state. 

it was like he was content. 

chenle began to tear up, wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve as he felt jisung grab his arm. 

mark suddenly looked up at the three boy's now standing around him, his eyes a puffy red not from drugs this time, but from crying, something much worse. 

"hyung," jaemin said calmly. 

"i'm so sorry." 

mark didn't say anything as he moved his broken gaze to chenle, locking eyes with the boy. the look the smaller received didn't send shivers down his spine this time. 

"this was your fault." was all mark said, in a shaky, hoarse voice. 

"my hyuck. he's dead." 

jaemin kneeled next to the lifeless body, and next to mark, looking into the boy's eyes. 

"let us help you, hyung. please." jaemin said, his voice shaky as well and chenle could tell he was crying. 

mark just shook his head over and over, pulling hyuck's body close to himself as more and more tears came down his cheeks. 

all was silent till mark stumbled to his feet, hyuck's body in his arms. chenle had to look away. though, when he looked back up, mark was already halfway down the street, walking with pained steps, holding the deceased boy close to his chest. 

and, he was put of sight a minute later. 

jaemin hugged chenle. 

"this isn't your fault. don't think it is, please." whispered the older. 

chenle didn't say anything as jaemin pulled away, tears streaming down his cheeks as he walked over to jeno. chenle turned to the youngest. 

jisung pulled him close.

"let's get back inside." 

chenle could hardly comprehend anything, and his hands shook as he looked at the red, dampened spot on the ground. 

"okay, chenle?"

the smaller nodded once, brokenly whispering.

"okay."


	19. [nineteen.]

chenle buried his head in his best friend's neck, gripping his shirt and holding back the overwhelmingly strong urge to scream and cry. 

"chenle."

"i killed him. this was my fault."

"no, you didn't. le, look at me."

"i can't do this, renjun. i should have been the one shot and dead-"

"hey!" 

when renjun shouted, chenle jumped but clung tighter to his shirt, his face suppressing back every splitting urge to burst into tears right in that moment.

"i don't ever want to hear those words."

chenle ripped away from his best friend, burying his fingers in his own hair. the image of hyuck's lifeless body ceased to leave his brain. when they had gotten back inside, chenle found out that jaemin and jeno had locked renjun in the bedroom to keep him from coming outside.

"renjun someone fucking died because of me! i saw the body and the bullet wound-"

"did you fire the gun, chenle?" 

"no but-"

"then you didn't kill him."

"oh cut that shit, renjun. this all started because of me and you know that."

renjun stepped forward, and chenle didn't even notice jaemin standing in the doorway. and chenle looked back at his best friend, painful eyes watering, tears beginning to run down his cheeks.

"i should have been there." renjun said softly.

chenle was taken back. the other chinese boy sighed. 

"i should have been there for you. i shouldn't have just left you in korea by yourself. it was selfish of me."

chenle just shook his head, walking up to the other chinese boy and grabbing his shoulders.

"no, renjun. you did what you wanted to do, as you should. i'm just holding you back from it. like i do with a lot of things, apparently." 

renjun opened his mouth to speak as chenle took his hands off the boy, shaking his head as he looked towards the doorway, seeing jaemin with his head down. 

"i'm so sorry." he mumbled to the pink-haired boy. 

"chenle," jaemin started, taking a step into the bedroom they were in. 

"maybe you're right." he shrugged. 

"maybe i should have never walked up to you in that alley and told you to come with us. maybe i should have never taken you to jisung's."

chenle just stood there, jaemin taking steps closer.

"but, do i regret it? hell no, fuck no."

chenle blinked back more tears. jaemin laid a hand on his arm.

"you're a great kid. and, you've helped jisung so much. i've never seen him so interested in somebody before, this is one of the first times i've seen him smile a real smile in years. i know there's something going on, and i'm just happy you can make him happy."

jaemin paused.

"does he make you happy?"

chenle sniffled, wiping his cheeks. 

"y-yes. very."

jaemin smiled, ruffling chenle's hair.

"then that's all at matters, okay?"

chenle covered his face with his hands, sighing shakily. jeno. what about him? how did he feel? 

"chenle." 

the smaller boy looked up at his name, seeing jaemin and renjun had left the room, and jisung was now standing in the doorway. 

chenle glanced down the hall, seeing renjun leaning on jaemin who held him close. chenle tore his eyes away as jisung closed the door behind himself, speaking softly.

"we need to get out of here." 

chenle raised his eyebrows at the younger's words. out of everything jisung could have said, that was certainly what he didn't expect him to say. 

"mark will be back, i'm sure if it."

jisung looked the him up and down.

"is your house still available?" 

chenle wiped his cheeks as jisung reached out, taking the boy in his arms. 

"yeah. it should be..." chenle mumbled.

jisung nodded.

"hey."

chenle looked up at the boy, where he found warmth and sincerity in his eyes. a calming sensation spread over him like wildfire. 

"we'll figure this out. okay?" 

chenle swallowed but nodded, somewhat getting himself together in that moment.

"are you okay?" chenle asked the younger seriously, looking right into his eyes.

jisung didn't have a particular emotion lining his features, and it was scaring chenle.

"yeah, i'm okay. i will be, anyways."

chenle frowned slightly, reaching up to cup jisung's soft cheek. it wasn't even wet from any tears. and from what chenle has learned so far, jisung was stubborn when it came to expressing emotions. 

"i was talking with jeno." jisung explained.

chenle listened.

"he barely said two sentences to me, though. he's fucking devastated. he's... known mark and hyuck almost his whole life." 

jisung shook his head. 

"god, the second someone messes with jaemin though, jeno would do anything to protect him. this was an accident. he was protecting jaemin." 

the younger's arms moved around chenle's waist, loosely but tightly all at the same time. 

"hyuck saved jaemin's life, you know." chenle said softly.

jisung just nodded. 

"yeah, i know he did."

the smaller boy sighed when he saw a hint of sadness finally cloud in jisung's eyes.

"he really didn't deserve that. hyuck. he's never done anything wrong, he just fell so damn hard for mark. who happened to be a sociopath. his only sense feeling was for that boy."

jisung scoffed, rolling his eyes. 

"he was too damn nice. mark treasured him. they treasured each other."

he looked chenle in the eyes again, raising an eyebrow.

"i hope you know mark got hyuck killed. it was mark's whole plan that ended his life. because if i hear you say that it's your fault one more time i'll-"

"you'll what?" chenle challenged, tilting his head.

jisung sighed.

"i'll kiss you."

"it was all my fault-"

chenle's words were completely stolen from him when jisung's lips came on top of his own so suddenly. his breathing caught up in his throat, but he never let it out till they pulled away ten seconds later. 

"i don't know what i would have done if you were killed chenle, god." jisung rambled, almost breathlessly. 

chenle didn't say anything, so jisung grabbed the boy and pressed their foreheads together. 

"i'm literally never going to let you go, you know that right?" 

there was this look in jisung's eyes, something chenle has never seen so intensely shown. so, he kissed jisung again. and again. and again. and he never got tired of it. 

twenty minutes later, chenle was helping jisung pack his things. they talked to jaemin and renjun about the plan to go to chenle's, which they all agreed to and thought was a good idea for now.

it was their only hope at the moment. 

but, a problem arose. jeno refused to come, no matter how much jaemin and renjun tried to convince him. 

"babe, please. we'll figure this out. i promise."

"i need to stay here." 

chenle watched from the hall, and he even saw renjun get really close to jeno. the kind of close only jaemin got. he looked away, turning his attention back to jisung, who was putting a pack of cigarettes in the backpack he was taking. 

chenle tilted his head.

"you smoke?"

jisung hesitated.

"sometimes." 

that was strange, because chenle has never tasted nor smelled smoke on jisung or anywhere in the apartment. he shrugged it off though, and jisung slung his bag over his shoulder.

"i think renjun has a thing with jaemin and jeno." chenle said quietly, messing with his fingers. 

jisung chuckled, brushing a hand through his blue hair, his bangs lifting off his forehead for just a second. 

"yeah, i figured."

the smaller bit his lip. jisung really wasn't fazed about it? then why was chenle? 

a minute later, jisung and chenle headed out into the hallway, where jaemin also had a bag laying by the door. chenle looked over at his best friend, who made no eye contact with him, instead focused on jaemin who was talking softly to jeno. chenle faintly heard the words that came from the pink-haired boy. 

"we could have a whole new life, with renjun. and jisung, and chenle. i promise things will get better.... we got through it before, we can get through it again..."

"i'll be packing the car." jisung said, taking the bags by the door, chenle following his lead and taking one as well.

"chenle, stay inside." jisung said, his gaze stern. 

chenle gave a little sigh, knowing he wouldn't win the argument. so, he put the bag down. 

"we're leaving, now." jaemin snapped, grabbing jeno's wrist who didn't move from the chair he was sitting in. 

"no, jaemin. i told you, i'm staying." 

"and i told you, no. you're coming."

jeno suddenly stood up, yanking his wrist back from jaemin's grip, that glare back in his eyes. the scary one. 

"this is the last time i'm saying it, na jaemin. i'm going. to stay. here." 

jaemin walked up to him, and chenle flinched as the boy's hand came up to slap jeno hard across the cheek. a silence passed over the room. 

"snap out of it, jeno! i know you just went through something horrible, we all did! but you need to get through it for two seconds-"

chenle backed towards the door when he saw jeno take a step forward. renjun was about to step between them, before jeno shoved jaemin so hard to the ground, chenle swore he heard something crack in jaemin's body. 

chenle pressed a hand to his mouth, watching jaemin take a shaky breath, looking up at jeno with teary eyes. a look of instant regret passed over jeno. renjun kneeled next to jaemin, helping him off the ground. 

"what the fuck." he cursed at jeno, who backed away slowly.

the door to the apartment opened, and jisung stepped back in, seeing the scene in front of him, raising his eyebrows. 

"um, what-"

"w-we're leaving. come on." jaemin sniffled, taking renjun's hand and storming out the door. 

jisung looked at chenle, who looked at jeno, who was watching the door that jaemin and renjun just stormed out of. jeno locked eyes with chenle. 

"go." he mouthed.

jisung grabbed chenle's arm, looking back at jeno. 

"be careful. you know where we'll be." jisung said softly, before tugging chenle out the door. 

the door shut, and chenle took a deep breath. 

"did he hurt jaemin?" 

chenle nodded. 

"jaemin slapped him, then jeno shoved him."

jisung sighed, leading chenle down the hallway then down a set of stairs. 

"they both need to cool down. don't worry too much about it, it happens."

chenle raised his eyebrows.

"a lot?"

"it used to. when jeno used to hangout more with mark."

he nodded, and they continued their way to a car, which was parked in a parking garage connected to the apartment building. renjun was in the driver's seat, jaemin in the passenger's. jisung and chenle slipped in the back, relaxing their backs against the ripped seats. 

jaemin was silent, so was renjun.

"i'll tell you where to go. pull out of here and make a left, go the back way then turn onto the hills." jaemin said, his voice dull.

renjun reaches over, taking the boy's hand.

"are you sure you don't want to-"

"no. no, let's go."

renjun nods, and the car starts in the next second. they're pulling out of the parking lot soon, and headed onto the unpaved back road. 

chenle's eyes felt heavy, since it was literally six in the morning, and he's been awake since two. he laid his head on jisung's shoulder, closing his eyes. the truth was, he didn't know exactly what to say anymore. he couldn't have fucked up this badly, right? 

jisung took the smaller's hand, lacing their fingers together. warmth spreads over chenle's skin. 

no, he didn't fuck up this part of it. he couldn't have, not when he's found someone like jisung. and now he was going home. 

they were going home. 

but he wasn't even sure if he could call that big mansion home anymore, not when his angry parents were standing in the big front doorway as soon as the three boys walked in. 

strangers, is what they were. he barely recognized his mom's tan-skinned face, full of botox and plastic surgery. and his dad, who he forgot was six-foot three. 

"zhong chenle, where have you fucking been? your father and i had to come home early. and who the hell is this?"


	20. [twenty.]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter actually sucked major ass because i'm going through some wRitErS bLocK right now but i promise... next chapter is gonna slap.

"zhong chenle, where have you fucking been? your father and i had to come home early. and who the hell is this?"

chenle felt a wave of annoyance, fear, anger, and surprise pass over him all at once as the three boy's behind him froze in their spots. renjun soon moved to stand beside chenle.

"they're my friends." chenle said, with no tone other than a plain one in his voice.

chenle's mother's face twisted into a horrible scowl as she stepped forward, trying to pull chenle's arm. though, the chinese boy refused to move. he knew exactly what she was doing.

"they're. my. friends." he said, putting emphasis on every word, giving his mother a hard gaze.

his mother raised her eyebrows.

"you got them off the streets, didn't you?" she spat.

"look at them! all dirty. they're from the city, aren't they?

chenle clenched his teeth so fucking hard he was sure they would break. his locked eyes with his mother and saw somebody he never knew. he glared back at the stranger, whose face looked kind of like his own. and he said it.

"god, i fucking hate you."

the words came so quietly, yet you could hear loud and clear the venom dripping from them. he felt renjun grab his arm, gently though. his mother's face twisted.

"what the fuck did you just say to your mother?" chenle's father stepped up, his arms crossed in front of his broad chest.

"chenle, don't." renjun mumbled.

"you're horrible, horrible people." chenle just continued, his voice louder to match his dad's tone.

"you hurt these people, and for what? what did they do to you? what world do we fucking live in where you can terrorize people who aren't exactly like you? to kill people. to fucking kill people!" chenle spat, yanking out of renjun's grip.

without thinking, chenle began speaking in chinese, knowing only renjun and his parents would be able to understand him.

"this is the only good thing that's happened to me. these people. that boy." chenle pointed back at jisung, who was standing, as tense as chenle.

chenle looked at his father right in the eyes as he stepped closer.

"you've never been there for me. from the day i was born. why did you have me when you weren't even going to be around? do you know how many times i've thought of just fucking ending my life? many. and, maybe i should have. even then, you probably would be happy to have me out of your hair like i was a bother in the first place."

tears pooled in chenle's eyes, renjun looking at chenle with a face full of guilt.

"the only thing that's kept me here on this planet is renjun. who went off to do great things with his life, as he should be doing. but, what am i stuck doing? sitting in this damned mansion, rotting away. till i went out and found these people, who are perhaps the realest human beings i've ever met."

chenle held back the urge to start screaming.

"till i found out that you did the most horrible things to them. you," he pointed at both his mother and father.

"and all the greedy, selfish assholes around you. and, you know what?"

chenle took a step back, grabbing jisung's hand.

"i'm sick of it. and i'm disgusted that i'm apart of this family."

he looked at both his parents.

"i'm fucking done."

chenle's heart was pounding against his rib cage, and he was practically panting. the anger was unbearable, and the glares he got from his parents were filled with the same amount.

his father's big hand came down before chenle knew it, and he was hit right across the head where he stumbled to stay on his feet. jisung supported him, before handing him off to jaemin, standing in front of chenle.

"don't you fucking touch him," jisung growled.

chenle scrambled to tug jisung back with struggle. his father grabbed chenle's arm in a death grip, pulling him close, bending down so his face was right in front of his son's. chenle could smell the stench of cigarettes on his breath and clothes.

"you were an accident. you were never meant to be born."

now, hearing these words from the people responsible for his existence might sting to some. but, not as much to chenle. though, his eyes did water.

"get out of my fucking house. right now. i never want to see you or these dirty faggots ever again."

a scream ripped from chenle's throat, lunging at his parents but he was quickly pulled back by renjun. 

"fuck you." his best friend spat at his parents, pulling chenle out the door where jaemin ushered jisung out, renjun and chenle in tow.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!"

renjun dragged the yelling chinese boy out the door with a big struggle. and once they were out, the door slammed so harshly behind them it could have been heard from a mile away.

chenle was taken back to the car, where he fell to his knees once he was inside and slumped against the seat, sobs scratching at the back of his throat. he felt a soft hand in his hair, fingers gently carding through his hair. not jisung's, but renjun's. 

"jisung, get in the car! you can't fix anything right now! we have to leave.

chenle heard jaemin yell from outside, and soon the front passenger's door was being opened, and jisung was shoved inside. his blue hair was a tousled mess, anger easily recognizable in his eyes all towards chenle's mother and father. jaemin slipped into the driver's seat, and began to pull out of the long driveway. jisung punched the dashboard, hard.

chenle sat up shakily, his best friend pulling him close.

"alright, listen to me."

chenle didn't want to listen to anybody. not even his best friend.

"you need to listen, chenle. okay? we'll be okay."

the small boy was silent, and the car ride was echoed the same silence till jaemin drove down away from the houses on the hills. away from the dark parts of the city, and pulled over on the side of an empty road, one that led away from the town towards the rising sun. dawn was coming. a question lingered in the air, one that everybody could sense but didn't really want to answer or think about.

that question was, what were they going to do now?


	21. [twenty-one.]

**_trigger warning, suicide._ **

**_suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255_ **

 

 

 

 

_"hyung."_

chenle stood feet away from the dangerous boy, his fists clenched by his sides and his heart slamming so hard against his chest he swore it was audible. slowly, mark lee lifted his head, wiping his face before turning around. chenle's eyes were met with painfully empty red ones. 

"what the _fuck_ do you want?" the older rasped, no clear emotion making its way to the surface.

it was a mix of anger and sadness. it was hard to believe this was the same boy that beat him up. even under the glare that now showed itself across mark's features, chenle stood, clutching the flowers behind his back so hard he was sure the stems would break. 

"i-i got these. for _donghyuck_."

chenle presented the flowers in front of himself, towards the boy who still stood like a statue. 

"they're sunflowers. somebody told me you called him haechan. that means full sun, right? w-well, i just thought-"

"sunflowers were his favorite." mark spoke up, this time his voice much calmer. 

when the older began to advance towards him, chenle took a step back unconsciously. he still held out the flowers, and his hands a little shaky as he let the boy get closer and closer. mark reached out to take them, and chenle let him. the younger watched as mark held the sunflowers close like they were the most precious thing. that's when the softest smile broke out onto mark's face, and it was the first time chenle _ever_ witnessed that.

"i always used to buy him these. the flower shop down the block closed a while ago, but when it was open, i used to go every afternoon on my way home to get him one or two sunflowers."

chenle watched as mark stared down at the bunch of big yellow flowers, giving a small laugh. 

"and he _always_ used to smile and give me the biggest hug. for a long time, haechan was all i had. and that moment was all i had to live for.”

the younger could feel his heart slowly breaking as he listened to mark, folding his hands behind his back as grief took over him. he couldn't begin to imagine how mark must feel now. and he couldn't help but think this was still all _his own_ fault as well.

"hyung, i'm truly so sorry."

mark looked up and locked eyes with chenle. the gaze wasn't menacing nor was it harsh. it was something chenle couldn't really read properly, and he didn't know what feelings to take from it.

_"i killed hyuck."_

chenle raised his eyebrows at mark's words, opening his mouth to speak when he was cut off.

"i did. i killed him."

"no, mark you didn't-"

"I DID!" mark suddenly shouted, causing the younger to jump.

"i did." the boy with the flowers said brokenly, his voice hoarse.

chenle's face fell as he took a step towards the boy, who was backing away now with the flowers.

"hyung, i know it hurts a lot. but you can't put this all on yourself. hyuck would have wanted you to forgive yourself." chenle explained, picking his words very carefully.

mark just sniffled, shaking his head as a soft smile came over his lips, his eyes moving down to the bunch of sunflowers in his arms.

"yeah, i know." the boy sighed before his smile fell.

"but i can't live without him. i can't continue on without him."

chenle shook his head.

"then we'll help you. _please_ , mark. let us help you."

chenle was mere yards from the boy with the sunflowers. and before mark could even reach for it, chenle _saw_ it. he saw the gun tucked into the waistband of mark lee's pants. 

"hyung, no. _don't_.” 

mark took the gun out with a shaky hand, looking down to examine it closely like he's never used it before.

"mark." 

chenle stepped back as mark raised the gun. though, he didn't point it at chenle.

"hyung, let's not do this, okay?"

chenle swallowed, his mouth going dry. the gun was pressed to mark's temple, one shaky finger above the trigger as the safety was then turned off with one swift click. 

_"it's okay now. it will be. i’ll be with him soon. i'm so sorry, chenle.”_

 

-

 

mark lee killed himself that night. and that was a fact because chenle had to watch the whole thing despite trying to stop it. he heard the sirens and saw the red and blue lights reflect off of mark's body and sunflowers that laid abandoned beside him. when the police asked him questions, he had no breath to answer them at first. 

he traveled back to jisung's apartment that night and found jeno still there, sitting alone in the kitchen table. chenle pulled up another chair and sat beside him. when jeno looked at chenle, chenle didn't say one word. and neither did the older. 

after hours of sitting, the only three words chenle had said were _“mark is gone"_. jeno had no reaction, and chenle wondered if the older had even heard him. a minute later though, chenle watched a small smile grow on jeno's lips before he saw the crystal tears on his pale face. and chenle watched as jeno pretended they weren't there.

he didn't know how long he'd been sitting in the kitchen with jeno, or what time it was, but the door to the apartment soon opened and jisung, jaemin, and renjun stepped inside. the three of them saw chenle and jeno sitting there, and sighs of relief and freeing-anxiety passed their lips. chenle couldn't look jisung in the eye when the younger came around to his side of the table, so he didn't even try. 

_"chenle, what happened?"_

the chinese boy let jisung pull him close, and when his face found the boy's shirt, he buried his face deep into it and breathed in the other's scent slowly. he didn't mind the fingers that carded through his hair, because the talking from the other three around the two boys was quieted in chenle's ears once he felt it. 

the gentle kiss that was pressed to his temple, and the other arm that was keeping chenle together was wrapped around his back might have seemed all quiet, but chenle could hear jisung's steady heartbeat through his shirt. and that was the only thing keeping him in this moment.

once again, jisung was the _only_ thing he could focus on while everything else was falling apart around him.


End file.
